At The End Of The Day
by Softrock-showtunesgirlscout22
Summary: POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**_At The End Of The Day_**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **I own nothing**

 **PART I**

Derek Bailey Shepherd was your average 14 year old boy, torn between leaving childhood and adolescence. Of girls and friends. He for one loved hockey, his mother had signed him up when he was just six, as a way to blow off some steam when he'd began acting out, it had been more than that to Bailey at this point. It was more than a sport or a hobby. It was a way of life.

A way of life, it'd been in the Shepherd household, everyone tried their best to be there at every game, Meredith had made it a family thing, even dragging Amy and Owen along for it.

"Do I have to go?" Zola asked that morning, Bailey had just been named team captain and it was his first game of the season so it was a really important night for him, but Zola was a 17 year old girl, no longer interested in whatever antics her brother might be off to in the game, for her, he was a show off, and she no longer needed this to interfere with her personal life.

"Honey, we've talked about this, everyone's going to be there, it's an important night for your brother."

"Of course it is, every hockey night is important, I'm sick of it mom, I never go out on Saturday's because of Bailey's stupid games!" Zola groaned. She picked up her lunch and headed out the door, Ellis in tow. "Ugh, I hate this!"

"Don't forget, game's at six" Meredith said with a smile, knowing her child had no way of wining this. "You have to pick up your sister from soccer at four."

"Anything else?" Zola said.

"Yes, have a good day sweetie, I love you."

* * *

"She doesn't have to come if she doesn't want to, it's fine." Bailey said as soon as Meredith parked the SUV in front of the school.

"No, it's our thing, she has to come, plus it's your big night! Don't you want your sister there?"

"Whatever, it's not that important, they'll be other games, all Zola wants to do is go and make out with her boyfriend." Bailey made a disgust face.

"Don't remind me, it's too early in the morning." Meredith rolled her eyes as Bailey laughed. "Have a good day, I love you."

* * *

 _Always hold your children at least once day, no matter how old they are, don't forget to tell them how much you love them or how proud you are of them, it's important for them, but even more for you._

Bailey would always take a bus to the rink for practice since it was so far from school, today he was wearing his lucky everything, sure, he'd told his mom this game wasn't that important, but he was just giving himself some peace of mind, to not make it that big of a deal so he wasn't more nervous about doing a good job. He fiddled with something in his pocket as he walked over to the back entrance.

"Shepherd, big night huh?" Coach Williamson was already there. He patted Bailey on the back and wished him good luck, leaving Bailey in the locker rooms alone for a second. He sat down on a bench, his hand in his pocket. He took a deep breath and smiled. From his pocket, he took out his dad's old ferryboat scrub cap, looking at it with a nostalgic glance.

Derek had always been an important part of his life, even though he'd died when he was just a little boy, he barely remembered him on his own, but he'd stay up for hours watching old surgeries his parents had done and imagined having Derek teach him everything he knew. From being a good doctor, to a good man.

"Hey man." Tommy, his best friend said. Bailey moved his fingers of the fabric he was holding, then put in back in his jacket's pocket. "You okay?"

"You think I'd be any good?" He asked in all honesty.

"Dude, you were born for this, you learned to skate almost perfectly in your first week back when we were little, it still beats me how Williamson didn't name you captain years ago..."

"You're just boosting my ego, I am not that good." Bailey said shyly.

"You are a hockey god, that's all I have to say. " His best friend said. "Just remember us mortals when you achieve greatness, will ya?"

 _Neurogod._

* * *

"Does she ever let go of that phone?" Amelia asked Meredith as she glanced over at Zola. "Please tell me we weren't like that. Please tell me my girls won't be"

"We weren't, we actually had life." Meredith said quickly, rolling her eyes at Zola. "Back when we grew up, not so much. And Owen wouldn't let happen."

"Oh yeah, I remember." Her sister in law said biting her lip, Owen was making his way over with the rest of the kids.

"Okay, who wants popcorn?" He asked Amelia and Meredith. "Okay, what's going on?"

"Zola." Meredith said simply.

"Ah, the boyfriend problem." Owen assessed. "You still don't like him?"

"You just wait until your girls date, You won't like them either." Meredith hissed at him. "Plus, I can't like him all that much,I have to do the dirty work, the dad work, I can't like him all the way.."

"If you need any help, I could..."

"Nah, I've got it..." Meredith smiled. "Now give me popcorn, I need to eat."

"Don't tell me you are nervous, he's so good in there, he'll do great." Owen said.

"It's a lot more pressure, he does good with pressure, me on the other hand? I'm not handling well, it's like it was yesterday he was being born and today, he's captain of the hockey team, that just doesn't roll well with me."

"Because of Derek?"

"Because of Derek."

"Zola! Come sit your butt down, the game's about to start!" Meredith called, sitting down

"Mom?" Ellis said next to her, her bright blue eyes sparkling.

"Yeah honey?"

"If I ever get a boyfriend, will I be like that?" Meredith smiled. Ellis was a bit of a tomboy herself, being closer in age with Bailey than Zola, but Meredith didn't have a right answer for that, she was a girl, and even though she was just turning 11, boys were way off her mind at the moment. "If I get like that? Remind me that I didn't like Zola much, okay?"

"Okay." Meredith hugged her youngest child as Zola took her seat."I will."

* * *

"Hey man, I've got what you asked me." One of the assistant coaches told Bailey as he was putting on his gear. He handed Bailey a brand new team jersey. Bailey smiled.

"Thanks, I'm hoping my mom is surprised by this." He said. "It's going to be hard getting used to, but, I feel it's just right, you know?"

Meredith was going her emails when they announced the game was about to start. Bailey was there in front row, wearing his head high and a stick she'd noticed something else too, ready to crush everyone who dared come his way and she couldn't be more proud of, even though he was mostly a sweet and shy boy, when he touched the ice, it was like he owned it. Much like Derek used to do back in the OR.

* * *

 _Bailey opened his eyes to the pain of a bright light. He was on the ground of what seemed like a hospital hall, he'd been around those long enough to see he wasn't somewhere else._

 _He stood up slowly, he was wearing his uniform so he figured this was a dream of some sort. "Hello?" He yelled at the eptiness. "Anyone there?" He moved ahead to a small room, where a man was standing by the doorway. He'd recognize that man anywhere._

* * *

"Shepherd? Can you hear me? Are you alright?" He'd been hit hard, mid- game, just pushed back agaisnt the cold, his helmet made his head bounce inside it. "Bailey?"

* * *

 _"Look at you kiddo, you look just like... I'm not really sure anymore." His father stood there, in front of him for the first time since he was a little boy, since that morning he'd said goodbye before settling him for breakfast._

 _"Is this a dream?" Was all Bailey managed to say. "Or am I dead?" Derek's gaze turned serious. "Oh man, I don't want to be dead, I haven't even.."_

 _"You are not dead son." Derek said with a smile. "This is, a dream of sorts, if you want to call it that."_

 _"Says the neurogod." Bailey smirked. Now that he looked at Derek other than in videos or pictures, he noticed more and more similarities between him and his father, he still took after Meredith in almost everything physically, but there was this thing that Bailey saw, the dark messy hair, the eyes, the calmness, that made him think about how everyone began saying he took more after Derek as he grew._

 _"Is there something on my face?" Derek asked, clearly moved by the way his son was staring._

 _"Ah, no sorry, it's just, other than, looking at pictures or videos of you, I don't really, remember..."_

 _"Me?" Derek finished._

 _"Something funny happens sometimes, like I feel as I'm dreaming, I get this flashes, it feels so real and I want to feel like they're memories... from when I was a baby, from when you were with us."_

 _"Who's to tell you they're not?" Derek sighed._

 _"Can that happen?" His son asked, his eyes widening._

 _"The brain is the code to humanity's many secrets, you just have to be smart enough to figure it out." Derek said. "But I'm guessing you know that by now?"_

 _"Well, I want to be a doctor like you, study brains and save people, if I do this, maybe they'll be other kids who won't lose their father, you know?" Derek frowned. "Mom told us the real reason you died, said you were pronounced brain dead."_

 _"Ironic." Derek said leading Bailey inside the room. "Cruel and ironic."_

 _"Aunt Amy would have saved you." Bailey said in conviction. "I know she would have."_

 _"Oh, I have no doubt about it..." Derek smiled. He sat down on the bed, Bailey joining him a moment later._

 _"Dad?" Bailey spoke softly, out of practice of the word in that context. "You believe in heaven, right?"_

 _"I do, I was raised in that faith, even though I was mostly a man of science." He said solemnly. "I am no one to say I don't have faith in something or someone greater."_

 _"So, maybe this is heaven? Or at least a glimpse of it?"_

* * *

"Mom?" Ellis pulled on Meredith's arm. "Is.. Is that Bailey?"

"Why isn't he moving?" Zola added in, phone long forgotten. Meredith just stood still.

"Stay here, I'm going down there..." Owen said, but Meredith pulled him back. "What?"

"Zola, you are in charge, nobody moves a muscle, okay?" the girl nodded.

"Out of my way!" Meredith screeched, followed closely by Amelia and Owen. "Out!"

"Bailey, Bailey?" Owen got a hold of his face gently. "Buddy, can you hear me?"

* * *

 _"Hockey huh?" Derek asked with a smile. "Interesting choice."_

 _"Mom thought I'd do me good when I started having trouble in school, she said she'd rather pay for me to hit someone than to give all my anger away for free." He reasoned._

 _"I know." Derek said kindly, placing a hand on his son's back. "That sounds like something she'd say." They both laughed. "She became that mom in the end huh?"_

 _"Zola had recitals, Ellis has soccer games, she's that kind of mom, she did say she never wanted to be like my grandma." Bailey added._

 _"Ellis. She does look like me, I wish I could have met her, I wish I could have stayed." Bailey turned to watch his father. "I never wanted you guys to suffer the way I did, and she doesn't even know me."_

 _"Dad, it wasn't your fault. You were just doing what you did best. Being a hero, Ellis knows that, we all do." Derek had tears in his eyes as he looked at his son. "We make sure to know you'll always be there, no matter what."_

* * *

 **So, here's part one! I had this idea after I watched an episode of Grey's today! Hope you like it, I'm having a lot of Bailey/Derek feels right now.**

 **Thanks for reading and don't forget, reviews make a writer happy :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**_At The End Of The Day_**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Thank you so much for the support guys, although I wouldn't mind more reviews if you get the chance :) Also I'm sorry if some of the characters seem to be a bit off, I've watched the show for years, but the writing is a bit harder, doing my best to doing them justice.**

 **Anyways, enjoy!**

 **I own nothing**

 **PART II**

Meredith had gone on along with Bailey while Amelia and Owen took the kids, he remained unconscious although all his vitals were normal, she wasn't going to panic right. She still had time to panic, she'd learned that the hard way with three very active and hyperactive children

"What happened?" April asked as soon as she saw Meredith, she had called Callie right away in case Bailey had more than a concussion. "I thought he had a game tonight."

"He did, for the most part." Meredith said as she jumped down the ambulance. She caught a glimpse of Bailey's sparkling blue eyes. "Bay? Can you hear me?"

"Mom?" Bailey mumbled. "What happened?"

"You are at the hospital, you hit your head, Does it hurt anywhere else?" Not until his mother had mentioned it did he feel a shooting pain in his right arm, he felt himself being lifted up and into a bed, he searched for Meredith's face. "Dad?" Her confused face was the last thing he saw before loosing consciousness again.

* * *

 _"Bailey?" It was Derek's voice again._

"Dad ." He hadn't come back to his full awake state yet. "Dad" This throws Meredith off, this was Bailey being barely aware of his surroundings, she tried calling for him, and as the other doctors worked on him, she couldn't really react. It was April and now Owen working on her boy, her beautiful baby boy who looked just like Derek. Who was the only Derek she had left. She then noticed his jersey for the first time. It had a D next to his last name instead of a B, he had always been Bailey to her and everyone else, except when he was put off or something. She almost never called him Derek even though it was his first name.

she now thought of her little boy, her and Derek's own flesh, the one miracle she thought she'd never have, Denny had said it, Derek was the optimistic one, he knew they were meant to have Bailey. And Zola. And he'd been so determined about Ellis before he even knew what he wanted.

"Meredith?"It was Miranda calling for her. "Dr. Grey?" Meredith had to stay cold, she couldn't freak out or lose control, this wasn't the first time Bailey had been hurt and he needed her to be focused, she heard Owen telling her to go and wait outside. She flinched. Who did he think he was? She was a doctor too and Owen wasn't even Chief anymore. He couldn't tell her what to do.

 _But Bailey could. Crap._

"You can't be in here Dr. Grey." Miranda said firmly. "Someone go with her. " There was a nurse taking her outside. It was when she noticed her children. Her two girls and her nieces and nephew.

"Mom!" It was Ellis who first hurried her way, her little girl reminded her so much of Amelia. If she her ad not given birth to her she could swear she looked just like her sister in law's little one, Kenzie. She had been the last grandchild. The last Shepherd girl. Although it if it was up to Owen, he and Amelia would have more kids, that was for sure. "Mom? Is e Bailey gonna be okay?"

"Mom?" It was Zola now. She and Meredith had gone trough so much together. She knew when her mother wasn't okay, she knew when she shut down.

"Yes, he'll be fine." Meredith said, looking down on the children. She decided it was best to get off the hallway and into a couple chairs. "Uncle Owen is with him."

"My daddy gonna make Bailey all better, won't he?" the four year old said with a smile. "Won't he?"

"Of course he will." Meredith said picking her up.

"Where's my mom?" 9 year old Matt asked. "Is she with Bailey too?"

Where indeed was Amelia?

* * *

 _"Dad?" Bailey_ was back into this place. He was sure he'd seen hi _s mother a moment ago, woken up for a second. He then realized he was no longer in the hospital. He was at home. His parents dream house as Zola had put countless times._

 _He didn't remember not living in this house as a child, except in that strike of the moment when his mom had moved all the kids to Alex's house._

 _Her childhood home, that was when she decided she didn't want to live out there alone because there was no Derek._

 _Except there was._

 _The house looked different though, the study room was once again his playroom, and Ellis's big girl bed was gone, only to be replaced by Zola's. He then thought that maybe this was another memory, of what his old house would have looked like when his dad was alive. He opened the door to his old playroom, toys were scattered everywhere and there was Derek, his legs crossed in front of a pile of blocks. Bailey he loved building things, he found it fascinating how you fix something that was so broken._

 _Except he hadn't been able to fix his mom. Not that she was broken per se. She was his greatest challenge. To date Meredith had not gone out with someone, sure, she'd gone on dates with guys, she had one or two boyfriends, but she had three kids, and she hadn't been able to brush Derek away, he doubted she would._

 _"I used to watch you play with your sister here all the time." He heard Derek say. He moved up to where his father was, sitting across from him on the carpet. "I could watch you play for hours. You were just so happy." Bailey picked one of the wooden blocks and placed another one on top._

 _"Dad? Did you know mom tried to sell the house?" Derek looked up at his son as he imitated Bailey and placed another wooden block on top._

 _"I'd imagine she do that..."_

 _"She couldn't though, she tried, more than once but she just couldn't do it, she'd cried at night because of it, she'd argue about it with other people. Saying she was better off just buying some apartment in the city that was closer to everyone else, not just out there in the woods." Derek laughed, his eyes matching Bailey's as they continued to build the tower._

* * *

"Meredith _?"_ Alex came looking for her, about to make a fit for not being informed Bailey had been brought in. But he didn't seem mad, we seemed worried, and she mirrored his worries as soon as she saw him.

"Are you guys okay? What happened?"

"Bailey went flying across the rink." Ellis said. "I saw it, he was skating towards the goalie and he got pushed back, he must have tried to fight it because he was thrown so hard." The little girl said.

"Have you seen him?" Meredith asked him. They won't let me be in there. They have a guard dog nurse by the door." Alex smiled softly.

"I haven't. Amelia and Owen are with him, It'll be fine Mere, he's a strong boy." Alex said. "He's just like you."

"Did you know he changed the name on his jersey, I mean, is he even allowed to do that? Who does that?" Meredith didn't want to think of Bailey in there, she had to be distracted by something because her mind might wonder off to the night Derek had died and she didn't want to think that would happen to her son, _his and hers._

"He said he'd wanted to surprise you." Zola told Meredith. "He said he needed to be more like dad for you, now that he was growing up because everyone said he looked just like him." But Bailey was so much like his father already. He was this beautiful boy with the most charming smile and such a big heart. He cared so much about people. Just like Derek had. And those eyes. McDreamy eyes.

Meredith looked at Zola for a moment and her eyes filled with unspoken tears. She had to be strong, she needed to be, but these parallels between her son and Derek weren't helping. She blinked them away before anyone but Zola could see. "Dr. Grey?" It was Edwards who'd come out and see her now, she held Bailey's jersey and jacket in her arms. "Dr. Hunt told me to give you these"." She smiled softly at her once rough boss, she was still her boss, and she was still scary, but right now she was just a mother.

"How is he?" Edwards didn't move. "Edwards? You better tell me or I will..."

"Dr. Shepherd ordered an MRI and CT scan, he still hasn't regained consciousnesses, so she doesn't want to take any chances."

He hadn't woken up. Just like Derek. "Bring Dr. Shepherd out here now." Alex gave her a look.

"Mere..."

"I said NOW dammit!" This wasn't good. She was loosing control. Edwards bolted back into the hallway as Meredith looked down to Bailey's jersey and jacket. There was something sticking out from the right pocket that caught her attention.

 _Derek's ferryboat scrub cap._

* * *

" _Mom doesn't know I take it with me every other day, I put it back before she's able to notice." Bailey explained when Derek asked him what was that in his jacket. "It's the one yo wore to your first surgery with her I think. That's not the one she wears though, so she doesn't notice." Derek ran his fingers trough the fabric much like he'd done before the game._

* * *

Meredith traced her fingers softly trough the fabric, inhaling the feeling of familiarity that came with it. She knew her children craved it as much as she did, that's why she couldn't sell the house. She'd tried to get rid of everything that reminded her of the life she had built with Derek, of his love for her, of tumors on the wall and plane crashes.

"Meredith." Amelia pulled her from her thoughts, her eyes drifting for a moment to the object she was holding.

"Mommy, Bailey will be fine, won't he? Did you and daddy fix him?" Now there was the 6 year old asking, questions Amelia wasn't sure she could answer. Kayla looked at her with those eyes that were so Owen and she froze.

"What is it?" Meredith asked, her voice neutral.

"I need you to come with me." She said firmly, She didn't want to let Meredith know this in front of the kids, they didn't need this until they were completely sure. That she was sure her nephew's fate wasn't closely tied to Derek. She couldn't even phantom that feeling.

She and Meredith couldn't afford to lose another Derek Shepherd.

* * *

 **So? What did you think? We were able to see more of what's happening outside of Bailey's mind? What is really going on with him? Will he wake up? and if he does, will he tell anyone about seeing Derek?**


	3. Chapter 3

**_At The End Of The Day_**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Thank you so much for the support guys, although I wouldn't mind more reviews if you get the chance :) Also I'm sorry if some of the characters seem to be a bit off, I've watched the show for years, but the writing is a bit harder, working my best to doing them justice.**

 **I will miss you forever McDreamy, it's been quite a ride!**

 **Ps: I've thrown a spoiler from last night season finale! As heartbreaking and beautiful as it was, It will never fully heal my heart.**

 **Anyways, enjoy!**

 **I own nothing**

 **PART III.**

 _" **How are you supposed to miss someone you barely knew? Even though you know they are a part of you, like a brain, the most powerful machine in the world determines everything you do, does being part of this stranger, means you are programmed to miss them as if it was the first time you lost them?"**_

Meredith stared at Amelia. She had not just said her son had a cerebral laceration. She had not. "I need to run another MRI just to be sure, but it is likely the helmet he was wearing caused a bit more damage than it was meant to when he hit the ice." Amelia explained. Meredith knew this. She was a doctor too, and her own sister in law was talking to her like, well like she was someone else. "He's been in and out of consciousness which could mean there's some bleeding, but for now... I know this wasn't meant to happen Mer, but I will do everything..."

"Why are you still here talking to me like I don't know what a laceration is? Who's running tests?" Meredith said. Amelia tried to react.

"Edwards, she's with me on the case." Amelia said simply.

"Good, get to it then, I have to get back to the kids."

"I asked Owen to take them home, there's no use on them being here except worry, so he's taking them home."

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Owen asked Amelia as they both stared at Bailey's results.

"You don't trust me?" Amelia asked her husband in was hurt. "You sound like Meredith."

"I'm not talking about that, I know you are on point about Bailey, but I just don't want to leave. He's my nephew too." Owen said. Amelia's features softened.

"I'm asking you to take the kids home because Meredith is all I can handle right now, I know she's screaming internally, but she is not allowing me to be her child's doctor or her sister, she just sends me to do tests because I can't bring myself to tell her Bailey is..."

"Amelia..."

"What if he really does end up like Derek, Owen?" There, she'd said it. "I lost my brother and now I am about to operate on his only son, my nephew, how am I..."

"You are a superhero." Owen said after a moment, after he grabbed her shoulders gently. "It's now more than ever that you need to, to do what do you best and trust yourself, not because it's Bailey but because you can work miracles." Amelia sighed.

* * *

"Mom?" Zola came to sit next to Meredith in the doctor's lounge. Bailey had yet to be cleared for surgery and she just couldn't be sitting in a hallway, to her right, Ellis slept soundly. "I thought you might be hungry." Zola offered her a chocolate bar.

"Thanks Zo." Meredith smiled softly. "What have you been up to?"

"I was calling Marcus, told him what happened." Zola said. She and Marcus Jones had been dating for about 6 months, he was her first real boyfriend. Meredith smiled at the idea of Derek being here to freak out about Zola dating. Marcus was a good boy and Meredith honestly liked him, but Zola had changed a bit too much as she began to grow into this young woman and it was moments like this Meredith wished she wasn't alone. "He asked me if there's anything he could do, I just told him I would call him later, when we know something." Meredith smiled, taking her child's hand in hers. "I'm sorry about this morning."

"What?"

"I didn't want to come to Bailey's game and I acted like such a brat, I'm sorry." Zola admitted, her eyes slowly filling with tears. "I'm really sorry mom."

"Hey, no, we're not doing that, we are not going to loose control, not yet." Meredith said lifting her daughter's face so she was looking at her. "Bailey's gonna be fine. He has to."

"He has to." Zola repeated.

* * *

 _Bailey and Derek continued to talk as no time had seen to have gone by, it was funny really, how he'd played so many scenarios in his head about having these conversations with his dad over and over in his head, knowing he'd never really get the chance. "Dad?"_

 _"Yeah?" Derek asked with a smile. "How does it feel when you die?" Derek didn't move._

 _"Honestly?" His father sighed. "I don't remember much..." Bailey blinked. "There's one thing though..."_

 _"Like that thing they say about your life flashing before your eyes?" He asked. "Does that actually happen?"_

 _"If it did, I don't have any recollection of it, what I do remember is a voice." Bailey frowned. "Your mom's'...Telling me she'd be fine..." Bailey noticed the change in Derek's voice when he talked about his wife. "Saying I had nothing to worry about because you all would be fine."_

* * *

"Sh..." Ellis told Matt as both kids glanced at the empty hallway. "Let's go."

"Where do you think you're going?" A strong voice said behind them. It was Miranda Bailey. "Didn't I just see you sleeping a moment ago?" She told Ellis. "Where's your mom?"

"She's..."

"We..."

"Mind telling me where you were going?" the woman asked. "I thought your uncle was taking you kids home."

"He is." Ellis said. "But I don't want to go, I want to stay with Bailey."

"Sweetie..."

"No! It's not fair, Zola is staying and I'm not, he's my brother too." Ellis and Matt came face to face with Owen. "Please don't make me go." Owen glanced at both kids, he and Miranda sharing a knowing look. He moved to kneel in front of his child and niece. "Please."

"Dad, we have to help Bailey, we have to." Matt said, his green eyes sparkling.

"But we are Matty, me and mom. and everyone in the hospital..."

"But.. They won't even let me see him, what if he dies like daddy did and I didn't see him?" Ellis said. Owen sighed. Looking back at Miranda for support.

"Tell you what?" Owen said. "What about we go and check on Bailey, make sure everything is ready for surgery and then I'll take you to aunt Amy's office and you two can stay there while the girls are in Daycare." Matt and Ellis looked at each other. "I'll stay with you and as soon as I know anything on Bailey I'll tell you..."

"So, no going home?" Miranda glanced over at Owen, placing a hand on his shoulder as she took to leave.

"No going home." Owen said standing up and offering one hand to each child as they headed to Bailey's room. He sighed when he realized Amelia wasn't there.

"Dr. Hunt." Stephanie said with a smile. "Dr. Shepherd is..."

"They just need a moment." Owen said glancing at both kids. Ellie and Matt smiled up at Owen as he walked with them towards his nephew.

"You have to be okay Bay." Ellis said softly. She took something out of her pocket, which took Owen a moment to recognize. He hadn't seen that thing in more than ten years. But he'd heard that message a hundred times. "Dad's gonna take care of you like grandma says cause he's an angel..."

"Play it." Matt urged her. Edwards frowned. Derek's voice came on and was the only thing heard in the empty room.

 _"Hey it's me. I'm on the ferry. I just wanna say that I… god I wish you could see this… it's maybe the most perfect ferryboat ride I ever had in my life…"_ Owen felt dizzy as Derek's voice continued to be heard. There was someone else standing by the door when the message ended.

Owen and Amelia looked at each other for a moment. "I need to take Bailey up now." She told the kids.

"Is he gonna be okay Aunt Amy?" Ellis asked worriedly, clutching into Meredith's old phone for dear life Then Meredith appeared by the door too. "Mom, we...

"What..."

"Don't ask." Owen said. Meredith nodded."We need to...come on guys, we have to go." Amelia mouthed a thank you and smiled.

"I'll be right there in a minute okay?" Meredith told the children as they glanced back at Bailey.

"I'll go do the work up..." Edwards said quickly following after Owen.

Meredith and Amelia were once left alone. "I play that sometimes too." Amelia said. "Derek's message. So I don't forget his voice like I did my dad's. I'm so glad they at least have that so they don't feel like he's forgotten forever, you know?"

"I do know. That's why I kept it with me after he died, I did it for my kids. For my sanity." Her sister in law smiled sadly. "And now I'm back here in this position were..."

"Bailey's gonna be fine Meredith, this isn't like Derek's..."

"Did you know he changed his jersey?" Meredith asked. "He changed Bailey for Derek, he's trying to be more like him, and this is just a horrible foreshadowing..."

* * *

 _"Mom says there's still a good chance she'll get old and forget things." Bailey said. "Will she remember you?" Derek sighed. He didn't like the way this conversation had shifted because the pain was too much, the pain of not being with Meredith when she'd need him the most._

 _He had made a promise and broke it._

 _"There's also a good chance she won't." Derek said. "And I'm sure you and your sisters wouldn't let that happen, right?" They smiled at each other for a moment._

 _"No, just like she's never let us forget you." Bailey smiled. He took something out of his pocket. "She used to play this for us after you died. I don't remember it much from back then, but Zola does. That's why Ellie knows who you are, what you sound like and that's how mom won't forget you."_

 ** _"It's a funny thing, memory, it is painful and beautiful and just extraordinary, yes, how are you meant to remember someone you barely knew? Simple. Just look around you, look at people's faces when they mention that person's name or hold onto something that used to belong to them and you'll see how the mind works. It will bring you to this place in which, what you thought you weren't even able to separate as reality or fiction, will somehow become real , a real memory of someone that still means so much to you. Even though they are long gone._**

* * *

 **So... What did you guys think? The story isn't over yet but we're closing on the real meaning of it, so please review if you get the chance, it would really make me smile. I need to smile after that voice mail message which I included here for the propose of the story, which worked perfectly...**

 **Thanks for reading and I will see you soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**_At The End Of The Day_**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Thank you so much for the support guys, although I wouldn't mind more reviews if you get the chance :) Also I'm sorry if some of the characters seem to be a bit off, I've watched the show for years, but the writing is a bit harder, working my best to doing them justice.**

 **I own nothing but my own mistakes! It'd been a while since I had such a good time writing a story so I'm so grateful for all of you reading and following , it motivates me to write more! Enjoy! I hope the ending of this isn't too confusing , I hope it is rather comforting for some of us.**

 **PART IV**

Tommy had been friends with Bailey since they were both toddlers hanging out at daycare in at Grey-Sloan, his mom was a nurse and single mom of three kids. She balanced her life the best she could and she tried her best to give her children a chance of normalcy. She was a kind and hardworking woman who loved taking care of others.

"Tommy?" Allie Morgan stared at the stained face of her child. She didn't know how long he'd been sitting as she had just been paged her son was here, at first, her heart went cold as she thought of the game he had tonite and the feeling of guilt and worry washed over her. She'd tried her best to get out of the hospital in time for the game but she just hadn't been able to make it. "My goodness honey, are you okay?" Tommy looked up at his mother and he sobbed harder. "What... What happened?"

"Bailey..." Allie cradled her child in her arms. "Bailey's hurt mom, it's his brain, he's...Is he going to die?" Nurse Morgan didn't know what do say, this hit her like a ton of bricks too. She and Meredith Grey weren't all that close, they both were single and busy women whose only focus was their children, but she did consider the general surgeon her friend.

"Sh...No sweetie. Wait, what happened? How did he get hurt?" She asked softly, forcing her son to look up.

"I, I only saw him hit the ground, but his aunt told some other doctors his brain's swelling and they have to open him up." Allie's heart sank. She knew what had happened to Derek Shepherd, he'd been declared brain dead, having left his wife and children behind. She was sure Bailey's injury couldn't be as bad, the extent of his injuries, that she didn't know.

"Okay well, I'm going to go find Dr. Shepherd and ask her alright? You stay put."

"She's gone up with Bailey already..."Tommy stopped his mother from moving. "I didn't even get to say goodbye to him mom."

* * *

"What are you doing?" Owen asked Ellie as she was kneeling in front of one of Amelia's cabinets.

"Does aunt Amelia still keep her films here? The ones with mom and dad on them?" the little girl asked. Owen's heart sank. "I just... I wanted to watch one...I can't think about Bailey right now, I just worry."

"Of course you worry." Owen said softly, he glanced at his own child sleeping on the couch. "You love Bailey."

"Mom loved Daddy too and he died." Ellis said. Owen sighed. "Here! I found one." Owen read the label on the old DVD. THE SHEPHERD METHOD. BETH MONROE. "would you watch it with me?" Owen smiled. "Mom always does because she don't want to miss dad so much." Owen picked the DVD and placed on the old player, moving to sit with Ellie on his lap. She cradled closer to his chest as Derek's face appeared on screen. "It's a beautiful day to save lives." Ellis said before Derek began giving instructions. He looked up praying that Amelia would fix Bailey.

* * *

Meredith cursed under her breath as she kicked the vending machine, some things never changed, neither had they changed when you were on the other side of the situation. "Dammit!"

"Still doesn't work?" Miranda asked. "Here." She offered her a granola bar out of her pocket. "This is healthier anyway."

"Why do we even bother? To eat healthy I mean? We are all doomed to die, as a baby, at fourteen, it doesn't matter.." She said, hitting her back with the wall in defeat.

"Grey, hey look at me. Listen to me, your son is going to be fine, you just, have to wait and see, he's a fighter, always has been, I should know since I was the one to bring him into the world..."

"Derek was a fighter too, so was Lexie and Mark and they all died, what makes you think this will be any different?" Meredith said, her voice cracking. "And I should be in there, with my son, instead of kicking a stupid machine for a candy!"

"You know you can't do that." Miranda said calmly. "Even if I let you, this is the best place for you to be in." Meredith glared at her. "Come with me." the younger woman sighed.

"Look in there." Dr. Bailey said. This was Amelia's office. Meredith saw Owen with Zola and Ellis, they were watching something on the monitor on the wall. Meredith would recognize those eyes anywhere.

Those were her little boy's eyes. _Derek's eyes._

* * *

 _"So my friend Tommy and I got in trouble this one time because we decided it'd be cool to sneak into a gallery during one of Chief Webber's surgeries. There were some new interns so they didn't know us, but they looked terrified..." Bailey said with a laugh. "If Dr. Bailey was scary, mom was another story, did you know they call her Medusa?"_

 _"Still?" Derek's eyes widened. "So what happened?"_

"I was used to watching surgeries from the gallery, mom did that with me and Zola all the time. Ellis too for a while, so I thought they wouldn't say anything.." He continued with the story, his eyes fixed on his dad's. "So I see this, thing, right bellow, like a leak or something and...No one, not even mom is aware of it so Tommy nudges me to pick up the intercom. Let's just say, the interns didn't have it easy that first week when mom told them even a seven year old could have picked on the leak and no one said anything." Derek laughed.

 _"Your mother must have been proud." Derek said. "Or mortified."_

 _"No, she was pretty proud. she grounded me for being away from daycare." Bailey blushed. "She did say it was rare for me to have seen that kind of leak, unless I had year's experience." Bailey beamed. "She called me a neurosurgeon kid alright."_

 _"Well you are." Derek smiled. "That and an extraordinary general surgeon." Derek looked down at his watch for a moment. Bailey hadn't been aware that time had gone by, they had been in the playroom for quite sometime but he wasn't sure how time passed in alternative realities or whatever this was. "What's wrong? Dad?"_

* * *

Meredith had gone back to the waiting room, Alex in tow as he and Arizona had been assisting Amelia. "Edwards said they had to stop because he was seizing. They'd given him some... " Alex hesitated" They think it's best to induce coma so his brain has time to heal..."

Meredith's knees felt weak "How long?"

"What?"

"How long do they have to wait?" Meredith said.

"I don't know..." Alex admitted. Meredith stood up, bolting towards the OR. "Mer!"

Meredith ran into the gallery, shouting"What the hell are you doing?!" She snapped.

"You can't be in here Meredith... I was just about to come and find you..."

"Shut up, if it was either of your kids, I'd be the one dragging you out,now tell me, what the hell are you doing?"

"A blood vessel burst, we had to stop the seizures one way or another, so I gave the brain a little rest, there's no way I am stopping Meredith, I'm just..."

"You don't know what caused the rupture?" Meredith asked, shaking. "You just induced my kid into a coma!"

"No, It could be the the contusion itself or... Mer, I need you to calm down, It's to prevent the brain to damage itself even further..."

"Dr. Shepherd?" Came Edward's voice. "Vitals are spiking again"

* * *

 _"Why do you keep staring at your watch?" Bailey asked. "You have somewhere to be?" Derek's face turned serious_.

 _"No, but you do." He said._

 _Bailey frowned. "What?"_

 _"You can't stay here bud, you have to go back." Derek said with a kind smile. "You have to go and be great, just as I know you always were." Bailey's eyes filled with tears. "Hey, no, no tears... Listen to me, this isn't how you want to spend your life, you still got a lot to do, a lot to change. You can't stay here.."_

 _"Why not?" Even if it's a little while longer." Bailey said, he moved to his feet as Derek did the same. "Just, please."_

 _"I once made a promise. I said I wanted more than just a few stolen hours, moments with someone." Bailey blinked his tears away. "I always wanted more for you, your mom, I never wanted her to do this alone. I always saw how it drove my mother crazy, although deep down I know she just wanted to be able to talk to him again, say how much she missed him." Bailey let his head fall against his father's chest, his arms wrapping around him. It wasn't until a few minutes before the young boy realized he could touch him. "I still don't want Mom to keep on missing me, to not move on with her life."_

 _"She said she'd just rather become dark and twisty again than to feel as she was breaking her vows." Bailey said cleaning his face. "She said She'd called it upon post it, she said it was forever so she...She keeps waiting for you." Derek's heart sank as Bailey looked up to give him a smile. "I can take care of her in the meantime, I don't mind..." Derek smiled, taking his son's face in his hands._

 _"But in order to be able to do that..."_

 _"I have to go."_

 _"You have to go." Derek said, hugging him closer. "I love you so much son."_

 _"I..."_

* * *

 _ **Bailey's eyes snapped open. His head was killing him, literally. "Good morning sleepy head." He wasn't in a hospital bed like he imagined he would when he woke up, instead he was home. His mom had come to wake him up. "Hurry up, you're going to be late."**_

 _ **"Wait, what?" Bailey mumbled. "I was at the hospital...Dad..."**_

 _ **"What about him? He's driving you to school before his meeting so you need to get up, now..." Meredith left the room as Bailey sat on the bed. He glanced around his room. It didn't seem different. Except there was another bed on the other side of the room. That wasn't there before.**_

 _ **"Bailey!" He heard someone call for him. "I swear munchkin if you make me late again!" By the door appeared another boy, he was older than Bailey that was for sure. "What? Do I have something on my face?"**_

 _ **"No, I..."**_

 _ **"Then, let's go!" Bailey blinked a couple times until his eyes landed on the picture on the nightstand. There he was, age fourteen next to Derek. Meredith was on the other side, holding on to a young girl, the boy he'd just seen next to her, Zola and Ellis stood there too, A smile plastered on their faces. Two other boys stood by his side.**_

 _ **"Hey buddy, Sebastian said you aren't feeling so good, do you have a fever?" Derek said to him. "Bailey?"**_

 _ **What?**_

* * *

 ** _So... yes this is a bit confusing but it's some sort of what if reality that might work onto the story for the next several chapters. I might even develop a story of it's own from it if you guys like it. Just remember, we still don't know if Bailey is okay or not so in his mind, anything can happen! and did you catch who's the older boy named Sebastian? Yep, I've been rewatching the show so... guess!_**

 ** _Thanks for reading and don't forget to review. And just to be clear, I am in no way a doctor so I hope my writings are not so far fetched, if they are , I do apologize._**


	5. Chapter 5

**_At The End Of The Day_**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Thank you so much for the support guys, although I wouldn't mind more reviews if you get the chance :) Also I'm sorry if some of the characters seem to be a bit off, I've watched the show for years, but the writing is a bit harder, working my best to doing them justice.**

 **I own nothing but my own mistakes! It'd been a while since I had such a good time writing a story so I'm so grateful for all of you reading and following , it motivates me to write more! Enjoy!**

 **Most of this chapter is highlighted since this is like Bailey's alternative reality thing. See if it works or I might change it so there's no confusion.**

 **PART V**

 _" **Bay?" Derek said softly, his face seem tired and his hair was a mix of grey dark. Not so different from the Derek in the playroom.**_

 ** _"I'm...I just have a really bad headache." He said, trying not to stare too much. "It's fine."_**

 ** _"Can we please go? You won't even make it on time for your meeting Dad." Sebastian said. They heard a loud thud coming from one of the other rooms. Derek sighed._**

 ** _"Well, you are a bit warm." He said touching his son's forehead gently. "You' better come to the hospital with me, I have to go and drive in Bash anyway.."_**

 ** _Bash?_**

 ** _"But I'm not..." Bailey mumbled. He'd better figure out what was happening. "Yeah I think I do have a fever."_**

 ** _"What's the hold up in here boys, come on?" Meredith peeked her head in. "Let's go, do we have to do this every morning?"_**

 ** _"I don't know, do we?" Sebastian rolled his eyes. Bailey put on shoes and changed into jeans and a quick shirt and jacket. He made it downstairs to find Meredith helping the little girl in the picture put on shoes._**

 ** _"Bay! No school, no fair, don't want to go either!" She chipped in._**

 ** _"Well, you are going to preschool anyway so that's not real school you munchkin..." A boy said from behind Bailey._**

 ** _"Nice Casey, just what I need today." Meredith said. "Now she won't want to go either. "_**

 ** _"No mommy, I love school, I learn loads!" the little girl waved her arms in the air. "Cause I am smart!" She turned around to stick her tongue out._**

 ** _"That you are." Meredith smirked. "Let's go, Bailey, you and Bash are going ahead with dad while I drop your brothers and sisters at school._** ** _" Bailey nodded. "Head counts! One, where's Zola?"_**

 ** _"Her room?"_**

 ** _"On the phone?" Casey said. "With Sofia?"_**

 ** _"Zola! Ellis! Let's go!" Bailey stared for a little while longer. Mornings at home were chaotic, but this just took a whole new level. He moved to the garage as Derek and Bash were getting into the car, another little boy smiling widely at him as soon as he spotted him._**

 ** _"Wes, let's go inside, you don't want to make daddy late, let's go." the little boy groaned._**

 ** _"Going, going..." He stamped back into the house._**

 ** _"Waiting for an invitation?" Sebastian said from the passengers seat. Bailey sighed and got in the car. His head was still pounding as he tried to make sense of whatever this was._**

* * *

 ** _As he entered Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital the first thing he noticed was the name. Aunt Lexie and Uncle Mark were already dead? So then, what did it mean that he had a big brother he'd only heard off as the baby who'd died in mommy's tummy?_**

 ** _"Hey good morning." Callie Torres came to meet them as soon as they made it inside. "Coming for a check up?"_**

 ** _"Sadly, the story of my life." Bash smiled._**

 ** _"And you?" She asked Bailey."getting off school? what I would give to go back to school. .." Bash shared a glance with his brother._**

 ** _"There'd been a bug going on at Daycare last week Hannah was coming down with it..."_** ** _Derek said. "Would you? I have to get to my meeting."_**

 ** _"Sure, let's go guys..." Callie instructed the boys, he looked around the hospital. This place he knew like the back of his hand and yet it seemed so different. "Excited about senior year Bash?"_**

 ** _"If I actually make it to enough classes to graduate, yes. Of course I could just drop dead. " He said. Bailey frowned. Why would he not finish high-school? Callie turned serious. "What?"_**

 ** _"Cheerful." She said simply. Bailey spotted Alex as they made their way up to Peds. "Karev.."_**

 ** _"Let's go," Alex told Bash. "You, I have to steal you for rounds later, you'll be my wing-man." He told Bailey. Huh?_**

 ** _He dragged his feet to an exam room where Bash jumped into a gurney. He wondered what exactly was wrong with his brother as to need a check up as if it was a routine thing, why was Derek so worried and distracted as to allow him to miss school?_**

 ** _"Hey come on, I'll check on you." Bailey turned his head to see Arizona Robbins calling for him. Bailey did as he was told, not without glancing back at Bash._**

 ** _"What's wrong with him?" Bailey asked._**

 ** _"Huh?"_**

 ** _"Sebastian, What's wrong?"Arizona smiled softly. "Is he going to be okay?"_**

 ** _"Honey, don't worry, it's just routine, you know that, he's fine, he hasn't had an episode in almost a year."She said He laid on his back looking up at the ceiling. "So that's good, makes us worry less."_**

 ** _About what?_**

* * *

 ** _"Bailey? Are you okay? Come on don't tell me you are too old to be helping me out.." Alex said looking over some charts._**

 ** _"No, I'm fine, I just have a headache." He admitted tiredly. The what if vibe of this was giving him the worst headache of his life._**

 ** _"That's weird, Arizona said you were fine. You want me to call Shepherd?" Alex Amelia? What he'd give to talk to her now._**

 ** _"Umm... no, it's... it's fine, do you mind if I just go down to the cafeteria?" He asked. Alex frowned."I'm kind of hungry "_**

 ** _"Sure, go ahead."_**

* * *

 ** _So this was definitely not normal. He wasn't normal and neither were Meredith and Derek. Mom had said she had had a hard time having a baby after she had him, that Ellis had been a miracle, something she hadn't thought possible and that's why they had adopted Zola, yet he had an older brother and Zola was there too, so what had happened? Why had they adopted her too if they had 3 more kids after her? and how was that even possible?_**

 ** _"Hey buddy" Meredith smiled at her son. "You feeling any better?"_**

 ** _"Fine." He said with a smile. Meredith was sitting at a table with Derek and his little sister, the one he'd heard Derek call Hannah. "I guess it's just a virus or something." He joined the others at the table, not all that hungry. "How was your meeting Dad?" He asked. Derek sighed._**

 ** _"Not as well as I've hoped but let's see what happens." He said. "Let's see."_**

 ** _"Oh come on, don't try to bring yourself down, dad's just on the road to cure Alzheimer." Meredith smiled._**

 ** _"No I'm not." He insisted. "I can try, doesn't mean it's going to work out, it didn't before."_**

 ** _"That was a long time ago Der, we have more resources now, more means, I know this trial is going to be great, you just..."_**

 ** _"What happened to dark and twisty?" Derek smiled at her as Hannah giggled in Meredith's lap."I liked dark and twisty..."_**

 ** _"She didn't think her very handsome and talented husband could get a second grand for a clinical trial." She assessed. "Plus she could get Alzheimer any minute so it'd be good to find a cure..."_**

 ** _"Meredith..."_** ** _Derek sighed._**

 ** _Bailey smiled softly. He loved seeing his parents interact like this, he'd never gotten the chance. "So, where's Bash?"_**

 ** _"He's here and hungry..." His brother suddenly arrived, sitting next to him. "Heart disease makes me hungry" He stole one of Hannah's carrots._**

 ** _"See? That's dark and twisty..." Derek laughed, smiling softly as his eldest child. Bailey's heart sank. Was his brother dying?_**

 ** _He'd always wondered what it would be like if Derek was alive. What it would be like if it wasn't just him and the girls in the house. What his dad's famous lasagna would taste like, or if what Aunt Amy would say about Derek's other passion, the one that didn't involve picking into people's brains was like. He would watch Zola laughing at something Bash had said, the little ones telling Derek and Meredith all about school. Or Ellis's complains over how biology was so hard and she would never learn it for a living, even though she was just 11._**

 ** _"So, who's on dish duty?" Derek asked as they began cleaning up the table._**

 ** _"I'm not, it's Bailey's night!" Zola said as she argued with Bash over who would throw him over the bridge. Some things didn't change. He sighed as he saw the pile of dishes on the sink._**

 ** _It'd be a long night._**

 ** _"A penny for your thoughts?" He heard someone say from behind him. Derek stood there, towel on his shoulder as Bailey washed. "This isn't just about a bug is it?" Bailey bit his lip. He wasn't sure if he should go and bluter out something that made completely no sense. He would have to be committed after it._**

 ** _"Just tired, I guess." He settled on it. "So, your meeting went well?"_**

 ** _"I'm not sure. Let's hope." Derek said smiling at him._**

 ** _"Mom's pretty confident about it." He let out._**

 ** _"Yeah, she really is, that's what scares me the most." He admitted. "But yeah, I guess if she's sure about it, then I should too, it's her I'm trying to..." Derek suddenly stopped. Maybe he ought to back up a bit as he was talking to a fourteen year old._**

 ** _"It's okay dad, you what they say, right?"_**

 ** _"What?" Derek asked sweetly._**

 ** _"Even the unbelievers can become believers. And mom's the one who believes in you the most." He gave him a toothy grin. "You just have to believe in something enough to let it become real."_**

 ** _Where had that come from?_**

* * *

 _ **He still woke up next to Bash the next morning so they had shipped him off to school. His old school. Bailey saw Tommy running towards him. "Hey man! You okay? When you didn't come to school..."**_

 _ **"Fine, I just caught a virus or something last night..." He admitted. More like ' woke up in a alternative reality'**_

 _ **"Well you missed it all... there was this..." Tommy began to talk as Bailey barely listened. He wondered if this Tommy was just like the one from over there, that f he told him something crazy was going on with him, he'd believed him. "Bay, you listenin'?"**_

 _ **"If I told you something... something that might defy everything we know about reality, would you believe me?" He asked his best friend.**_

 _ **"What?"**_

 _ **"I have to tell you something..."**_

* * *

 **So... Will Tommy believe him? and what does this 'what if' reality means? Plus, what's wrong with Sebastian? and where did that nickname come from? Next chapter picks up after this one!**

 **And yes I know the Alzheimer thing is an old trick but, did you think about what will happen to Mer now that she doesn't have Derek to remind her everyday? If you had the chance, wouldn't you like to change a lot of things.**

 **Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**At The End Of The Day**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Thank you so much for the support guys! I saw some of you weren't too excited about how last chapter turned out so I'll be getting back to the normal story after this, just wanted you to know that, Bailey being alone with Derek wasn't a what if, it was more of a dream state, an unconscious product of his imagination and the AU where Sebastian exists might be more than that, so... let me know what you think of this one or if you'll just like to go back into the story, without the What if.**

 **Sorry about the super long note. Now on to business. Nope. I still don't own anything or Derek would still be alive.**

 **PART VI**

 ** _"What would you do if you were offered the chance to change something in your life, whether I'd be good or bad, whether you really didn't comprehend the consequences of what this might imply, or how much it would affect you, would you still do it? And more importantly, how hard would you hold on to it?_ **

_**Bailey stared at his best friend for a moment. Tommy didn't say anything. How could he? He had laid everything down on him like that, the fact that he really didn't fit into this life because were he came from, Derek was dead, Sebastian didn't exist and Meredith was a single mother.**_

 _ **"Tommy, say something!" He urged him.**_

 _ **"So. Your dad's dead, and you don't have an older brother?" He repeated.**_

 _ **"Right..."**_

 _ **"Say I believed this. What exactly happened?" Bailey sighed. He knew Tommy was not taking him seriously. How could he ?**_

 _ **"We had this game, you and I play play hockey together, and I got hit real bad, so I'm at the hospital, my mom's is surely by my bedside, but that's all I know. Suddenly I woke up and dad's here and..."**_

 _ **"So this place where you say it's the real world..."**_

 _ **"It is!" He said frustrated. "I'm telling this isn't real... I'm not...from here"**_

 _ **"And your dad's dead?"**_

 _ **"He's dead."**_

* * *

 _ **Bailey knew Tommy had no reason to believe him, he didn't seem to anyway, but this was all he could handle right now. He got home from school by bus, dragging his two little brothers along. Ellis and Zola behind him. He sighed collapsing on the couch, the rest of his siblings quickly scattering around the house to go about ther days, his eyes drifted to the pictures behind him. There were pictures of him and Ellis playing on the swings when they were younger, pictures of him and Bash going on a ferryboat ride with Derek. Pictures of his two little brothers and Owen at a baseball game. This was all he knew his mom had wanted after Derek died. Zola had told him, she had wanted 5 chatty children with Derek's perfect hair, so this was his parents defying all the odds by having 7 kids? Including Zola? Bailey walked trough the rooms. Zola had locked herself in hers, probably chatting with the boyfriend Bash had mentioned she had, Ellis, Casey and Wes were wrestling in her room. And Hannah was yet to come from the hospital as she was probably still in Daycare. Bailey stopped at his parent's bedroom door. The tumor was still on the wall and the blue post it hung high above it. He walked inside slowly sitting on the bed as he sighed, picking up the picture frame from the nightstand he recognized the picture. It was the same picture his mom had, except this one had Derek in it. It was the first picture of Ellis as a baby and she had actually met her daddy. Then something caught his eye. It was a small notebook, sure to be a Diary, stuck on the bottom of the small drawer, he looked around as to see if anyone would catch him reading it. He dreaded it really, this was his mother's Diary, there would be things in there to scar him for life.**_

 _ **Bailey.**_

 _ **"Today was Bailey's first ferryboat ride. He was so happy, giggling as Derek held on to him. Zola and I watched as his blue eyes sparkled with excitement. My boys were happy and I was too. Derek said Bailey looked just like me, but all I could see was how much he really took after him. He had that sweet way of his, that McDreamy smile and those eyes. I couldn't really handle my boys and those eyes.**_

 _ **Zola.**_

 _ **"Derek had said she needed a family and we were already one. Bash is getting stronger by the minute, specially with Christina hovering over him all the time. I wasn't sure if I could take in a child with needs like Zola was, when I was already way over my head with my own child, but now that I think of it, I didn't really chose to have a baby come to me like that, I hadn't chosen Zola. She had chosen me."**_

 _ **Ellis.**_

 _ **"Derek smiled at me when I told him we were having a girl. He lifted me into the air a moment later and told me how much he loved me. He was so happy this was happening for us again. We had been trough so much already with almost losing Bash to the clinical trial. To the storm, to Bailey's birth, to the fact that we almost didn't get to keep Zola because they said we already had too much on our plate. Keeping Zola is something I have to thank Alex for, because he made sure that we had. But now as I look into my husband's eyes all I can do is hope we have better luck this time. That there's no drama surrounding this child. Then again, we named her Ellis, so she's doomed to have something come her way for sure. "**_

 _ **Sebastian.**_

 _ **"He was my miracle baby. He had survived the most horrible ordeal. His father being shot. I still don't know how he managed to survive. How they both managed to. I was sure I was doomed to lose the baby because, good things don't happen to us, the carousel never stops turning. That's what I tell myself as I lay here, listening to my baby boy's breathing. They told me he might not make it trough infancy and yet, I don't believe this is the only thing there's left to do for him. I am not allowed to cry because I can't let myself grieve. He's Derek's child, he survived a shooting and he will grow up to be just like his father. Chatty and with perfect hair.**_

 _ **Casey.**_

 _ **"There's Derek's mini me. If I had not given birth to him, I would have sworn Derek had. He's a bit quieter than Bailey was and a bit calmer than Bash which worries me because, no one is as calm as Bash. No one except Casey. Little did I know he'd been diagnosed to be on the spectrum. A cause that had made Derek's effort to study the mind even more intense. He was always trying to make the world a better place, even though sometimes, it drove me crazy.**_

 _ **Wes.**_

 _ **"I've told Derek this is the last time I'm doing this, I'm too old to be doing it anyway. I was diagnosed with a hostile uterus when I was first trying to get pregnant and yet, all I seem to have been doing lately is been giving birth to children. I've reached my quota. I have given birth to 5 Shepherd 's. He would be getting a vasectomy."**_

 _ **Hannah.**_

 _ **"I'm staring at a single word in the stick. Pregnant. Seriously? So the vasectomy didn't happen, only because I was told we couldn't have more children. Huh? So I guess she broke the rule, again. This is not how I had planned to celebrate Bash actually reaching his teenage years, something I knew from the start to be very unlikely . He's almost a highschooler now and I am pregnant. Starting all over again. I should have insisted on that vasectomy. I'm dragging him there myself tomorrow, by the hair and do it myself, if I have to. "**_

 _ **"Bailey?" A voice said behind him. His hand was quick enough to hide the diary. "What are you doing in here?"**_

 _ **"I.. Uh nothing." He looked into his brother's eyes. He struggled to hide the cracking of his voice.**_

 _ **"Mom just called, she's pulled into a emergency so we're in charge of dinner." Bash said.**_

 _ **"Couldn't we just order a pizza?" He asked.**_

 _ **His brother smiled again. it was nice having Bash around. He had been the big brother and as much as he loved Zola, he often wondered what having a big brother would be like? Would have been easier to loose Derek if he had had Bash?**_

* * *

 _ **He woke up to the sound of thunder. Out of all the shepherd kids, he seemed to be the one who'd turned out to be the light sleeper. He moved out of bed, careful not to wake up Bash. He'd wondered how he'd gotten that nickname anyway? He'd ask Meredith if he could. He walked into the kitchen, lights were almost down. "Couldn't sleep? " He turned around to see his parents sitting there, enjoying the silence.**_

 _ **"Thunder." He said simply, climbing down the stairs with a glass of milk he'd just poured."I don't..."**_

 _ **"Oh we know..." Meredith said lifting her face. "I seem to remember one little boy climbing in our bed constantly. " Bailey blushed. "Come here." She patted the seat next to her on the couch. Bailey frowned but made his way to Meredith's side. She wrapped her child in a hug as Bailey held his head on her shoulder. Derek was staring at his son.**_

 _ **"This is nice, huh?" Meredith sighed as Derek cuddled closer to his wife's embrace. His hand reaching to Bailey's.**_

 _ **"Long day? "**_

 _ **"The longest." Derek sighed. "But it's good to be home." Bailey smiled as his eyes began watering.**_

 _ **"Dad?"**_

 _ **"Mmmm..."**_

 _ **"Why do we call Sebastian, Bash?" Derek looked at Meredith. "What?"**_

 _ **"You really don't remember?" I don't even know, Bailey sighed. Derek dismissed the confusion in his son's face and smiled at his wife, reminiscing.**_

 _ **"You were the one who stuck everyone else with the name. It was your first word, your brother's name, but you couldn't really pronounce it right, so you stuck with Bash." Bailey was about to open his mouth again when...**_

 _ **Suddenly, there was a beeping coming from his room, Meredith and Derek bolted their heads up. "Sebastian.."**_

 _ **"Bailey, you stay here, okay?" Derek said. "Be ready the phone, alright?"**_

 ** _For what?_**

 ** _"Bailey! Call 911!. "Bailey?" The voices began to fade as he closed his eyes._**

 ** _"Have you thought about it? What would you say to those people you encountered. How would you react around them? If given the chance, would you stay here, in the world your choices have created? Or would you just end up wondering what might have been?_**

* * *

 **So... On to the next part of the story now. We will find out what happened with Bailey after he was induced into a coma? And we got a bit of inside on the other kids, who I love writing about.I might turn this idea in a story of it's own when I finish this. Who enjoyed a lot of McBabies... I did! Please review! I love hearing from you. :)**

 **Until next time!**


	7. Chapter 7

**At The End Of The Day**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Thank you so much for the support guys! we're actually getting back to the story now because I didn't find the AU as great as I thought it'd be, nevertheless, I'm thinking of turning that into an actual story, so don't forget to check that out! Will Bailey wake up? And who's is he going to tell about Derek?**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Now on to business. Nope. I still don't own anything or Derek would still be alive.**

 **PART VII**

 **"Do you remember that feeling of when you are sleeping? It's the moment when when you are capable of anything. There are no limitations on what you might do. Who you might see, it's the moment where everything seems possible."**

Bailey's sight was numbed on the bright light of the room. He was unable to speak or even breathe on his own. There was a tube down his throat. He tried coughing, tried talking, but nothing happened. Meredith's cramped body sat on the chair next to the bed, her head was on her arm and she seemed to have just gotten herself to sleep. Bailey thought of the woman that was his mother, back in his state like dream. She was still a killer surgeon and a kick-ass mom. And more importantly, she wasn't a widow. She and Derek had somehow managed to be married for almost 20 years without murdering each other.

"Bailey?" He hadn't noticed his mother was awake and she was looking at him. Her eyes filled of relief. He tried to speak again, feeling the need to gag as he felt the tube suppressing him. "Baby, can you hear me? Do you want the tube out?"

"Mer?" A familiar voice Bailey recognized as Alex was heard in the room but Bailey couldn't really see him.

"Page Amelia." Meredith said simply, taking his hand in hers. "It's okay kiddo, you're going to be just fine, just wait... okay?" He tried nodding but apparently, he couldn't do that either.

Amelia came into the room a moment later, her eyes fixed on her nephew's. "We can take the tube out now, can you breathe on your own buddy?" She took his blinking as a nod. Amelia glanced back at Meredith for a moment. Did he have to start panicking?

"I'm going to take the tube out now, alright? I need you to breathe for me Bailey, then cough if you need to." She did it and Bailey felt the air fill his lungs as he coughed. "It's okay, easy now..."

"Mom..." Was Bailey's raspy's word. "Mom..."

"Do you remember what happened Bay? Do you know where you are?" Amelia asked calmly.

"Grey-Sloan. Hospital..." Bailey tried as Amelia began examining him. "Hockey."

"Good, that's good..." Amelia smiled. "Can you tell me something else?"

"Bailey!" There was the sudden squeal of his little sister. "You okay!"

"Ellie, what..."

"Sorry, she just ran away from me. "Owen said coming into the room after the girl. "I see someone is awake, you had us worried there for a second B."

"Ellie, just be careful okay, no touching, just let Bailey know you are here..." .

"Daddy saved you! I played the voice mail and he saved you!" Ellis said with a smile. "I knew he would cause he's an angel..."

Meredith called her daughter away to the chair she'd been sitting at. "You must have one hell of a headache huh?" Bailey smiled softly. Meredith felt shivers down her spine as she swore she'd seen Derek, in that look, in those eyes. She took his hand in hers and she squeezed it, feeling Bailey do the same.

"Everything seems normal, for now at least, but I don't want to move him until we get a little more of an insight of how the surgery went. There was a lot of blood and swelling..." Amelia moved to the foot of the bed, running her pen on his legs and feet. Bailey froze. He could see her moving the pen, but he couldn't move them. He knew his legs were there, he felt them, but as much as he thought he was moving them, he wasn't.

Amelia looked around. Meredith and Owen understood instantly, much to their horror.

"Mom..." He was panicking now.

* * *

 _He had been sedated, he was sure of it, He had had the fit of his life, even though his legs felt like dead weight. The panic in his family's eyes told him there was something really wrong with him._

 _"Bailey?" A familiar voice said. He looked around at his sorroundings. This was a Ferry, he was standing on the deck, people he didn't know around him, strangers, all except for one._

 _"A ferryboat." He smiled at his father. He wore a thick black coat. His hair shone with the light in the sky. "You loved Ferryboats."_

 _"Still do." Derek smiled. "I always wanted to bring you and Zola for a ride, just spend the whole day here."_

 _"Dad?" Bailey turned serious for a moment, as Derek moved over the railing, he imitated him, both of them leaning on it, looking out into the ocean and the city. "Am I paralyzed?" Derek didn't respond._

 _"What do you think?" Bailey stared at his father for a moment. This halucination or whatever it was, knew things he was sure he'd never heard of. So he had to know what was wrong with him. He was the Neurogod._

* * *

"What are you saying Amelia? Are you telling me my son is paralyzed? You paralyzed Derek's only son." Meredith said harshly. Amelia stared at her in owe. She knew she didn't deserve this, she was doing everything right. She had done everything right."

"Grey..." Miranda said warningly.

"No..." Meredith stared at her mentor. "I can't... You don't get to tell me off, I'm a dam doctor. I know how this works..."

"And as a doctor, you know there are risks..."

"Screw the risks, this is my child, this is my miracle baby, he defied the odds, he beat the hostile uterus. He's the only thing I ever did good, he and my girls, he's the only thing I have left of my dead husband, that's it."

* * *

"What do you supposed they're talking about?" Bailey asked Edwards. She stared at Meredith.

"Or yelling about..." Stephanie said with a smile. "I honestly don't know."

"Course you do, they are talking about me being paralyzed. And my mom's is yelling at everyone because she can't fix it." Bailey said.

"We still don't know anything..."

"What you do know it's that is possible that I'm paralyzed, right?" Bailey said tiredly. He sighed, laughing bitterly. "He couldn't give me a straight answer either-"

"Who?"

"My dad." Bailey said simply. Edwards frowned. _What?_

 ** _"How well do you remember it? How do you feel after the dream wears off, and reality hits you once more? Would you hang om to it, a little bit longer. before being sicked back into reality?"_**

* * *

 ** _So... No. Bailey didn't tell Edwards. Not really, What did you guys think? Please review! They make me happy! So sorry this is a bit short in the wake of waiting a few days for a new chapter, but it's finals week so I'm barely keeping myself awake enough to finish this._**


	8. Chapter 8

**At The End Of The Day**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Thank you so much for the support guys! It's been a stressful week for sure but I'm halfway trough finals! Yay! Things get real next week though so I'm writing this as a downtime and also to please all of you who have been reading! Thanks to the ones reviewing, I love hearing from you so, don't be shy... Reviews make a writer happy!**

 **Still don't own Grey's... or else Meredith wouldn't be raising three children on her own**

 **PART VIII**

 **"When I was little and career day came, I showed off my mom, she was just the coolest to be around, she was just a kick butt general surgeon, and she was my hero, she still is, though I often wondered, what it'd be like if I had my dad, if he'd come and bring a brain with him like mom had done with a kidney, one my dad had given her as a present, what it would be like to not be the kid who didn't have a dad. I love my mom to pieces, but I wish I had my dad too, I wish that everyday."**

"You can say it, you know?" Bailey said as Meredith stared at him. "You can say the words, I know I may never walk again."

"Don't say that, don't even think that, it's not even an option right now, it will never be an option for you, you hear me?"

"I hear you." Bailey sighed.

"Good." Meredith sat back down on her chair. "How are you feeling?"

"Tell you what I'm not. My legs." Bailey said, Meredith narrowed her eyes. If he wasn't in a bed like that she'd smack him.

"Funny."

"Not funny." Amelia said coming into the room. "I'd like to run some more tests later, also I called Callie, she'd be coming to check on you later..." She turned to Meredith. "Owen is taking the kids home. The girls can stay with me in the meantime." Meredith nodded. There was some icy mood between the two of them and he knew neither of them would admit there was some guilt there. "Tommy came by too. I told him visiting hours were over, so he'd come to see you tomorrow."

"We're off." Came Owen's voice. He was carrying 4 year old Kenzie in his arms as the other kids trailed behind him. They still hadn't said anything to anyone about Bailey's paralysis, other than Owen.

"Feel better Bay, and don't worry, you'll be back in the ice in no time." Zola said hugging her brother.

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" Ellie asked Bailey with a smile.

"No, it's okay, mom will stay, there can't be too many people in the room anyway, I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" Ellie frowned.

"Fine." She took something from her pocket and placed it next to Bailey's hand. "Here, I watched it today, might make you feel better." Bailey stared at the DVD. His cousins also said their goodbyes as he shared a few glances with his mother.

"Okay everyone. Who's on for pizza?" He heard Owen's voice from afar.

"I get slammed and they get to go out for pizza, no fair!" Bailey rolled his eyes as Meredith smiled softly. "I want pizza."

* * *

 _"Bailey?" He heard someone calling for him. It wasn't Derek. "Bailey?" He looked around, he was now on a wheelchair. Still wearing his hockey uniform._

 _"Bailey?" He finally saw Derek standing right beside him but the other voice had quieted down._

 _"How is it that you're still here? I'm awake. Or at least they're not operating on me anymore." He sighed. Trying to stand up from the chair, but it was like his body keeping him down._

 _"You don't want me here?" Derek asked._

 _"No, it's not that. I'm..."_

 _"I'm here because you want me here son, I'm here because you want to make sense of things and you don't know how to." He placed a hand on his shoulder softly."I'm here for you."_

* * *

He opened his eyes once more. He still couldn't move his legs. "Hey." Meredith said softly, taking his hand. "You drifted off after you ate. We didn't even get to the good part of the movie." She smiled softly.

"Doesn't it make you sad?" He asked. He looked up to the screen to see she had paused the surgery. "To see him?"

"It did." Meredith admitted after a moment. "Still does, but it gets a little easier, because I have better thing, awesome things to remind me of him and they don't make me sad, they just make me wish things were different." Bailey sighed.

"Did you..." He swallowed hard. "Did you talk to him? After he died?"

"Everyday, sometimes I still do, when it's early in the morning and the day hasn't started...I feel like I'm going to open my eyes and he's going to be there, next to me or somewhere in the kitchen making you kids breakfast."

 _Bailey thought of Bash and pancakes for breakfast._

"Seems something else is on your mind B..." Meredith turned serious. "Is this about dad?"

He waved his head, feeling his eyes filling with tears. "I'm scared." Meredith stood up from her chair and walked to the side of the bed, moving on the bed to hold her son as he cried.

"I promise you, I'm going to fix this." She said brushing her son's hair. "I'm going to make everything better..."

* * *

 _"Is there someone else here?" Bailey asked Derek as they moved trough the hallways of a new location. Grey-Sloan. Derek looked down at his son._

 _"No, I don't think so. Why?"_

 _"I thought I heard... Well I don't even know. For all I know I might still be in a coma. Or in my room watching mom and you operating on Beth Monroe." Derek stopped._

 _"Ah, yes, our miracle case. That was all your mom, she gave the courage I needed to believe we would succeed." He spoke softly. "That made me fall in love with her all over again." Bailey smiled._

 _"Dad?"_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"I wish you were here."_

 _"I'm right here son."_

 _"No, I mean, there with mom. I know she wants to play though, but she just needs someone. She so used to doing things on her own that she... She doesn't want to trust anyone to make her feel otherwise. That used to be just you."_

 _"Callie told you this." Derek said suddenly._

 _"Everyone did. Even aunt Cristina says so. She tried to get mom to, well she wanted her us to move to Switzerland with her." Derek laughed softly._

 _"What?"_

 _"Of course mom said that 'd be crazy." Bailey huffed. "She thought about it. Said her family was in Seattle even though her person wasn't."_

 _"She was my person." Derek said. "I knew Cristina was hers, but she was mine. She saved me when I was lost. She showed me what it was to truly love. She gave me the family I always knew I wanted to have. She fixed me. I was broken and she fixed me."_

 _"She fixes things."_

 _"That she does."_

 _"You think she'll fix me?" Derek moved to the front to kneel facing Bailey._

 _"Of course she will. But first you need to do something for her..."_

 _"What? What can I do?"_

* * *

"You feel this?" Callie asked again. Bailey waved his head. "Alright then, I'm going to take a moment...I'll be back." Callie stepped out, followed by one of her residents and Wilson. Bailey was left alone with Meredith again.

"So much for Hockey huh?" Bailey said with a smile. "Well it was fun while it lasted." Meredith froze. "What?"

"Nothing... I..."

"Dad said that after the plane crash, didn't he?" Meredith blinked. "When he thought he couldn't be a surgeon anymore."

"How did you...

"He told me." Meredith stared at her son in disbelief. "He said you had done everything you could think of to help him."

"What?"

Bailey sighed. "There's something you need to know..."

"Bailey... What..."

"He said you needed to close your eyes. And just remember 5 perfect seconds. Just that." Meredith felt tears fill her eyes. "He said that if you closed your eyes and thought of him, you'd know everything would be okay..."

"Meredith...I..." Amelia came into the room as Meredith held her hand over her mouth to muffle her cries. "What? What's wrong?"

 **"Yeah, there wwere a lot of things I wished for as a child, but mostly I wished my dad hadn't died in a car accident, so he would be home, going to show and tell or career day, but mostly. I wished he was here because of my mom. For my mom. Because she needed him the most"**

* * *

 **So.. What did you guys think? I battled in for a while as to who was the right person to tell about Derek and well, who better than Meredith, although she might not be ready to hear this story, this is after all, about healing and about how memory is timeless and love is Forever.**

 **Thanks for reading! Please don't forget to review! And thanks for everyone who wished me luck in finals, I wish the same thing back in whatever you are doing!**


	9. Chapter 9

**At The End Of The Day**

 **POST** **11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Thank you so much for the support guys! It's been a stressful week for sure but I'm halfway trough finals! Yay! Things get real next week though so I'm writing this as a downtime and also to please all of you who have been reading! Thanks to the ones reviewing, I love hearing from you so, don't be shy... Reviews make a writer happy!**

 **Still don't own Grey's... or there would be five Shepherd children running around with Derek's perfect hair.**

 **PART IX:**

 _ **"Grief and feelings are a deathly combination. Even if it's been years since the thing that caused us so much pain has been gone. It's still there, even though we try and tell ourselves everything we felt is a thing of the past."**_

"What happened, are you alright Bailey?" Amelia asked as she looked up at Meredith. She had gone pale.

"I'm fine." the boy said, he turned to his mother. "Mom..."

"I'm gonna go get some coffee. I'll be back." And she left. Bailey sighed, dropping his head against the pillow. Amelia smiled.

"What was that all about?" She asked. "She looked as if she was in a hurry..."

"She might as well have me committed for all I care..." Bailey said bitterly. Amelia knew that look.

"What, why?"

"Do you believe in angels Aunt Amy?" Bailey asked after a moment. He figured if anyone understood the loss of a parent at a young age, it would be her. "I mean like... the kind that show up in lame Christmas movies?"

Amelia opened her mouth but she didn't respond. "Did you see something?" She asked. As if she knew something Bailey didn't.

"I saw dad." Bailey said with a nod. "Like, he wasn't wearing a pair of wings or anything but... yeah I saw him..." Amelia froze. "Several times actually. and then I had these... vision..."

"About your dad?" Bailey nodded. "We were at the hospital where he died, at home, at a ferryboat." Amelia's eyes filled with tears. "We had like actual conversations. Like I was actually able to talk to him." There was a broad smile on his face.

* * *

She found herself at the hospital chapel. She had not been here, not in.. well never. She had had things to worry about when she'd been here in other occasions, like Derek or one of her kids, Cristina, Owen... She had been focused on all of them and not in whatever this place held for people.

"Meredith?" It was Callie Torres. Utter surprise sounded in her voice. "What, what are you doing here? I thought Bailey was awake?"

"He is." Meredith said as Callie sat beside her. "I just needed the silence, Amelia is with him. " She turned to look at Callie. It was no lie the two were close, they had experienced loss, love and somehow had found themselves connected to each other in more than one occasion. Zola and Sofia were friends, Ellie and Justin too.

"So, what..."

"He told me he saw Derek." Meredith said quickly. "Had a conversation with him..."

"Oh." Was all Callie had managed to say. "That's normal you know, kids make up things in their minds, they want to make sense of the loss they've experienced. Sofia talked to Mark every night before bed."

"Bailey used to talk to Derek too." Meredith went on. "He used to ask him to come back or tell him how well he'd done in his math test..."

"So? It's perfectly normal. And he did sustain a traumatic brain injury." Callie said. "He was in a.."

"In a coma, I know..." Meredith said again. There was a moment of silence between the two women. "I know he could have made up everything in his mind and I also know that's the logical explanation..." Meredith paused after a moment. "But what I don't understand is... how did he know?"

"Know what?" Callie was even more confused as Meredith eyes filled with tears, her hand reaching to her pocket to grab Derek's scrub cap.

"I never told him that Callie, I talked to him about Derek, over and over again when he asked me, told him how much he loved him and how he'd always be with him because, that's what I was supposed to do, because I really do believe he's always there with our children, in them. I mean I look at Bailey and all I see is Derek..."

"But what exactly didn't you tell him?"

* * *

"She thinks I'm crazy." Bailey told Amelia. His aunt sat beside him as he told him about Derek. His conversations with him and that alternative universe world he'd been in the coma where Derek was alive.

"She doesn't, You just spooked her..."

"She doesn't get scared." Bailey huffed. "She's Meredith Grey, we've all lived things, she's been trough worse." He reasoned. "She's the queen of crisis... except.."

"When it comes to Derek." Amelia added in. She let Bailey's confession sink in. Was it really possible Derek had managed to come trough for Bailey when he needed him the most? She wished and hoped that had been the case, she wished that something like that had happened to her after her father had died.

"It happened again." Bailey admitted "After I woke up, I was watching some tape Ellie had gotten for me and I drifted off to sleep, except I wasn't unconscious or... drugged. And he was there again, telling me things I'm sure I don't even know about and..."

"He told you to tell Meredith." Amelia reasoned. Bailey nodded. "That's incredible, it's as if your brain..."

"What if it's not my brain? I asked dad about it, I asked him if all of it was a vision... a creation of my imagination. Of something I had wanted to be real."

Amelia struggled to ask him any further. "What did he tell you?"

"He asked me what I thought, if it was real or not, was up to me, now I'm thinking, it wasn't. It was really up to him."

* * *

"And you never told him this..." Callie said.

"No, it was after we got married, but the kids weren't even in the picture, I was having one of those neurotic moments and Derek being Derek, he calmed me down. I've never told my children that..." Meredith sighed frustrated. Her hand on her face. "It's just... not possible. I mean, how is it possible?"

"The same way true love is." Callie said. Meredith rolled her eyes at her. "No, listen to me. Arizona and I, we were on the rocks and somehow we now have another child and our marriage is stronger than ever..."

"Is this meant to make sense to me? Because it doesn't." Meredith said bitterly. "All I know it's that my husband is dead, he's been gone for a while now and..."

"Listen Grey, you said yourself, maybe you don't believe in a lot of things, not religiously anyway but you believed in love. In Derek's love for you. That just doesn't go away."

Meredith sighed. "So you're telling me Derek's communicating, as in his spirit is back or something?"

"What do I know? But wouldn't it be amazing if it was? Wouldn't it be amazing to believe in something greater than ourselves? Like, don't call it God, call it love..."

* * *

 _"It didn't work." Bailey said as soon as he spotted Derek. They were back on the ferryboat. He was still on the wheelchair. His father leaned on the railing. "She just freaked out, it was meant to give her some kind of confidence and she just..."_

 _"She needs time." Derek said. "That's how she processes things, her own way..."_

 _"Like when we left Seattle after you died?" Bailey asked. "She said she had needed time to...I don't know, aunt Amelia said she..."_

 _"She had run away because that's all she knew to do at the time and I wasn't there to tell her to stay. That's how this works. She just needs time."_

 _They remained quiet, watching the city as it got darker. "I told Aunt Amy." Derek moved his head to the side._

 _"How did she take it?" Derek asked._

 _"Better than mom, that's for sure." Bailey laughed softly. "She was, I don't know..."_

 _"She went trough something similar to what you and Zola did." Derek explained. "That makes you contemplate things differently."_

 _"Yeah I mean, I'm sure she wished to be able to talk to her dad... to see him again..." Derek smiled softly. "And so did you."_

 _"Everyday, I_ wished _that everyday." Derek admitted, placing his hand on Bailey's shoulder._

 _"And now?" Bailey asked, unsure of what he really wanted to ask._

 _"Now, what?" Derek frowned._

 _"Do you talk to him now?" Bailey asked, his voice barely audible._

 _Derek smiled. "There's something else I need you to do for me."_

 _Bailey gave him a confused glance. "Wait, you have to tell me first. Have you talked to him. Your dad?"_

 _"No." Derek said simply._

 _"Wait, why not?" Bailey bolted his head up as Derek began walking, pushing him along the deck. "Isn't he? Here?"_

 _"Not here, no..." Derek said._

 _"But he's somewhere..."_

 _"Yes." Derek said._

 _"So, what... you can't talk to him?" Derek stopped, he sat on the ground besides his son, silent. "Dad?"_

* * *

"Dad?" Bailey's whimpers made Amelia lift her head from the chair.

"Bailey, hey." She said softly. "It's okay, I'm here." Bailey opened his eyes slowly. "It's okay buddy, I'm here..."

Bailey swallowed hard. "Mom." Amelia smiled. "It's okay, I'll go get her."

* * *

"What is it that you want from me?" Meredith asked as she stood, her back to the on call room. "Why now..." She closed her eyes.

"Meredith?" Amelia asked. Her sister in law turned her head. "Bailey's asking for you."

 _"Mer, Derek's asking for you..."_ Meredith could listen to the sound of Cristina's voice as she let go of a sharp breath.

 _ **"Grief can make you do things, see things... Because somehow you find some kind of comfort in what you're experiencing, which can make up momentarily for whatever you lost, but what if that, that you felt seemed to turning into something else, something, real? What would you do then? How would you feel?"**_

* * *

 **Hi guys! What's up? What did you think of this chapter? I'm loving writing this so much! Also wanted to let you know my full version of the AU dream is up, it's called "Brighter days" Hope you check that one out too!**

 **Thank you so much, again for all the support, I'd probably won't be able to update until Saturday or so, so I hope you look forward to the next one!**


	10. Chapter 10

**At The End Of The Day**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after** **season 11.**

 **I own nothing.**

 **Sorry for the delay guys! I've been down with the flu for the past 3 days! Enjoy!**

 **Part X**

 _ **"Families don't always come to us in the conventional way, sometimes they are just people we are close to who become the people we come to trust the most, and sometimes, the people that we are not directly related to, become the part of ourselves we didn't know we were missing."**_

Bailey woke up to the sight of Carolyn shepherd. His grandma was a welcoming sight for sore eyes. A surprising one at that. Was this what Derek was referring to when he said there was still one thing left for him to do? Did it mean he had to reassure Carolyn Derek was fine? Even so that he was around? Just like she had always insisted he would?

"Nana?" Bailey rasped. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, isn't it nice seeing you again Bailey?" His grandmother took his hand. "Your mother called, she let me know about your accident and I just couldn't… I had to make sure you were alright."

"I'm fine. Just a little sore." The teenager admitted with a smile. Carolyn remained quiet for a moment. "What?"

"Oh nothing, you forgive this old woman, I just… You look… You look so much like your dad, it made me relieve all the times he ended up in the emergency room because he wanted to play hero." Bailey smiled.

"That sounds like him."

"I remember this one time, we were at the lake house and Derek had brought Mark along, I swear those two got in trouble just to make me up my game…" Bailey smiled at the nostalgia in Carolyn's voice. "So naturally, Amelia, who was only 3 at the time, wanted to tag along and Derek was so keen on getting rid of her so they climbed these giant oak… And the moment your dad saw your aunt Amelia getting in right behind them he tried to stop her and they both fell off the branch, her landing on Derek's arm."

"He did like to play hero." A voice said behind Carolyn. "Mom, how are you, I didn't know you were coming."

"Well, I didn't know it either but Owen told me about this young man's injury and I knew I had to come right up."

"Owen told you?"

"You imagine either you or Meredith telling me?"

Amy opened her mouth but no sound came out. "Exactly, plus is a good excuse to see all of my other grand babies."

"Of course it is."

"Hey listen Monkey your mom is on her way alright? She just went to grab a coffee."

"That's alright." Carolyn said. "I can keep Bailey company. "

"Okay. That's good." Amy said with a glance towards her nephew. "I still have to check some stats over here, have you been feeling anything? Light headed? Nauseous?"

"No, I'm good, just a bit tired." Bailey admitted.

"Well, tired is good." Amelia said continuing her exam. "Are you hungry?"

"A little."

"That's definitely a good sign,you need your strength." Carolyn said with a smile.

"Fine, I'll get a nurse to bring you some food alright?" Bailey nodded.

"Here," Carolyn helped him sit up a bit as she offered him a drink of water.

"You sure you two are good here?" Amelia inquired. Both Carolyn and Bailey nodded. "You… Okay,"

* * *

"What do you want from me?" Meredith called the empty on call room. "Why now Derek? It's been forever! How the hell didn't you show up when I was alone, bringing our daughter into the world?!"

"Grey?" Came a voice from the other side of the door. It was Miranda. "You alright in there?"

"I'm… I'm fine…"

"You sure?"

"Yes." She sighed. Opening the door. "Sorry, it's been a long and weird night."

"A lot of memories huh?" Assessed Miranda. "Well, there's no better place to go hiding around here than an on call room but… Amelia sent me to find you, she said her mother is here and she's with your child."

"What?"

"Wouldn't blame you if you stayed in hiding, but I have a feeling she'd come and find You anyway…"

Meredith sighed. She wasn't ready to come out from hiding, specially not after what her child had said, though she wasn't expecting Derek to show up here and face her, no.

"I'll be right there." She told Bailey, her mentor nodded and closed the door behind her.

Meredith leaned her back against the door. Collapsing downward as she buried her face in her hands.

* * *

"Nana?" Bailey asked after a moment. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course dear"

"Did you ever…" Bailey chose his words wisely. "Did you ever see Granddad? Like in your dreams when he died?"

Carolyn stared at the young boy for a moment. "Okay. No. Forget it, stupid question."

"There's no such thing as a stupid question Bailey." Carolyn said in all seriousness. "Is there any special reason why you're asking me this?"

"Well, you are the one who taught me people can come to you in your time in need. Even the ones who aren't here with us anymore." Carolyn nodded.

"I… I did."

"Dad… I saw dad, while I was in surgery."

Carolyn darted her eyes at the boy. As her heart felt heavy inside her chest.

* * *

 _She didn't know when she'd fallen asleep. Except she was no longer in a bed when she woke up. She was in the ferry. She adverted her eyes to the familiar surrounding and an overwhelming sense of sadness washed over her._

 _" **I have a thing for ferryboats…"**_

 ** _"This most be the most perfect ride I've been in my life."_**

 ** _"It's his ferryboat scrub cap, he loves ferryboats."_**

 _She sat there, trying to make up something, anything._

 _She saw then, a hand reaching out for her. She'd known his hand anywhere. "Derek…"_

 _"Meredith…" His smile was a dreamy as the morning after the bar where she didn't even know his name._

 _"Derek…" She wrapped her arms around her husband, inhaling his scent as his strong grip lingered in her back. "What's this place?"_

 _"If you're asking me whether or not you're dead, you aren't…" Derek smiled as he broke their embrace._

 _"Oh no, I can't possibly be dead, because Doc isn't here…" Meredith said._

 _"What?"_

 _"Or Dylan or my mother…"_

 _"What's your mother's got to do with anything?"_

 _"I'm not sure…" She admitted. He brushed her cheek softly with his thumb as the wind blew over. "Oh Derek, you have no idea what's been like…"_

 _"I think I have a pretty good idea…" He said with a smile._

 _"I had a baby, you have another little girl." Derek nodded._

 _"Ellie. You say she looks just like me."_

 _"She does. She's such a sweet little tomboy, loves fishing…"_

 _"You've gone fishing?" Derek asked incredulously. She arched an eyebrow._

 _"I thought you knew everything… And no, I haven't… Owen seems to like it too so…"_

 _"Uncle Owen." Derek stated._

 _"Uncle Owen." She repeated._

 _"So I hear Zola has a boyfriend…" Derek dreaded._

 _"Yes, he's a nice enough boy.. Her age. Goes to church.."_

 _"He does?"_

 _"Yes." Meredith admitted. "And Zola has taken quite the liking to it, you should give that up to your mother I guess."_

 _"Of course."_

 _"I'm sorry…" Meredith said after a moment. He could see tears glistening in her eyes. "I'm sorry…"_

 _"Sorry for what?"_

 _"For not trying harder to find you, for not trying harder to save you." She couldn't believe she had been holding in that confession for 12 years._

 _"Meredith, it wasn't your fault, none of what happened was. You did what you could under the circumstances…"_

 _"No I didn't…"_

 _"Meredith…"_

 _"Bailey almost dies." She let out._

 _"Almost, he's fine now. He's such a strong boy, doesn't let anything hold him back, much like you.."_

 _"Me?"_

 _"Yes, you. You found yourself in an impossible position and you rose, you survived, you raised 3 amazing and beautiful children. You. Did. That."_

 _"You should have been here." She turned away from him._

 _"I know. I wish I had. I wish I could…"_

 _"Come back to me…" She begged. Derek placed his hands on both her cheeks softly._

 _"You know I can't do that Mer. You have to keep going on without me."_

 _"How?" She chipped in._

 _"The same way you've been doing it so far. By seeing me trough our children. By reminding them I will always love them."_

 _She felt how tears had finally started to run freely down her cheeks. "You're going to disappear…"_

 _"Close your eyes…" Derek murmured as he leaned in closer to kiss her._

 _"One"_

 _"Two…"_

 _"Three. Four…"_

 _"Five…" She opened her eyes to look at Derek'sdreamy blue ones._

 ** _Five almost perfect seconds._**

 _"I love you Derek."_

 _"I love you Meredith…"_

 ** _Stay here. Don't move. Wait for me_.**

She opened her eyes to the warm of the empty room, the lingering feeling of Derek's touch still roamed her body.

Was this what an epiphany felt like? Was this Derek's way to tell her she'd believed Bailey from the get go? Was she willing to believe that in a somewhat universe, Derek was still with her? Had he helped Bailey survive his fall and surgery? And more importantly, would it be Derek who'd help her fix their son?

 **"You don't get to chose your family, it choses you. You decide who you're meant to love and who you want to become after you've loved them."**

* * *

 **Hey guys! So what did you think? I battled myself for a while about wanting to do a Merder sort of reunion scene so I hope it was worth it, and will Meredith be willing to work with Amelia to fix Bailey? And what happens when Derek shows up once more but Bailey isn't sleeping?**


	11. Chapter 11

**At The End Of The Day**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Sorry for the delay you guys! I hope you are still enjoying this! Not much left for it to end, maybe 3 more chapters left.**

 **I still don't own anything …**

 **Part XI**

Bailey smiled softly at Amelia. She had said they had to run another MRI to make sure the swelling in his brain had subsided, which she had suspected to be the reason behind the paralysis.

"I'm going to figure this out, buddy, don't you worry " Amelia promised.

"I know you are, I'm not worried, just tired of being on this bed." He admitted sounding awfully like Derek, the one who couldn't keep still.

"Let's see what we can do about that alright? " She made some notes in his chart just as Carolyn had made her way inside the room.

"Ah mom..."

"Where's Meredith? "

"She went to get Ellie, I insisted she go and clear her head. " Amy said. It had been a few days since the accident and Amelia had made her best effort not to bump heads with her sister in law, although she was nothing but a pain in her neck right now.

"That makes two of us." Bailey said

"Actually, I see no reason why you can't go out for a little while Bay, if you are up for it?"

"Are you sure dear?" Carolyn stared at her child, the nurse and mother in her sending Amelia a clear message. "It's only been a few days. .."

"It's fine if Bailey is okay with it." Dr. Shepherd assessed.

"It's okay Nana, it's not like I can stand up and fall." Bailey said brightly as he noticed the silence between them. "What? it's true. "

"Not the time nor the place to make jokes like that. .." Carolyn darted. "I could take him if you want, I'm sure it's warm enough outside."

* * *

Meredith tapped her fingers on the wheel as she waited for Ellie to come out. She knew Zola was probably on her way home to get some stuff for her as she had made it her mission to remain at Bailey's side, weird enough, she'd taken some patients herself to keep her mind off things. Of what had happened to her. Her visions of Derek and how she'd confront her son about it. Her son. Even with all the technology around she and Amelia hadn't found a common ground. Her perfectly healthy 14 year old was still paralyzed from the waist down and neither of them had been able to fix it.

"Hi mama!" Ellie said as she opened the back door of Meredith's van. "Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"Aunt Amelia thought I was hovering too much." Meredith admitted to her child. "I was not doing such thing, but still.."

"Are we going to go see Bailey?"

"Yes sweetie, we are."

"Good, I've missed him."

"I'm sure he missed you too." Meredith said. She had tried to spare her daughters the truth about Bailey's condition. At least to an extension. "Hey listen Ellie... " Meredith's heart sank as words left her mouth.

* * *

"He's paralyzed?" Lizzie asked, her eyes drifting to the window were Bailey was sitting with Ellis and Zola. "How did that happen?"

"How did it happen? Someone clearly screwed up." Kate added in. Ever since Derek had died, Meredith had seen herself more involved with her husband's sisters, not that she was delighted with the idea but she couldn't help when Carolyn had told her daughters Bailey was lying on a bed like Derek had and it was unlikely if he'd wake up.

"There was swelling in the brain, which might have caused temporary paralysis. " Amelia explained, ignoring her older sister's remark. "It's still a bit early to tell since he was in a coma for 48 hours."

"It's been four days Amelia." Lizzie said. "How good are his chances?"

"In my professional opinion?" His sister nodded. "They are getting slimmer as time passes."

"Say it." Bailey said. Meredith looked up to watch her son. "Say it."

"say what?" She asked, moving the charts she was filling.

"Whatever it's in your mind." Darn. He was so much like his father and he knew me too well.

"You know those dreams you told me you had?" Meredith asked after a moment, sighing as she was going to let go of all of her coherent train of thought and admit she'd seen her death husband.

"You saw him." It wasn't a question. And Bailey was smiling as bright as he could. A shepherd smile that brought so much joy and sorrow to Meredith.

Meredith nodded. Her eyes numb the tears that were coming.

"It's okay. He said he had wanted to see if it worked. He wasn't sure it would." Bailey said, naturally it was already normal for him to see Derek like that, but she wasn't sure how much of it would be okay for his mind.

"How are we doing in here?" Amelia asked, Bailey was honest as ever telling her nothing had changed.

"Yes, I know, but I've consulted with some people and I would like to try and fix the damage the swelling did."

Meredith reacted quickly. "You're not cutting into his brain again."

"Mer."

"I said no Amelia, we've already broke rules letting you do it and nothing good came out of it…" Amelia gasped. Bailey stared at both women.

"I'll tell you what happened, Bailey is alive for one, and if this was my mistake I will be doing everything I can to fix it,"

"You shouldn't even had made that mistake in the first place."

"Mom…."

"if it weren't for me Bailey would be gone!"

"Well he's paralyzed!"

"At least I was able to save him, because I was here, unlike my brother who died because you didn't have the enough balls to call me and try and fix it!"

"Stop!" Came Bailey's cry. "You shouldn't be fighting, I don't care what happened, I don't even care if I don't walk again, you can't fight like that, you're all I got, you two are what the others got," Bailey said, both of them glanced at each other. "And if dad was here he'd tell you you are both right and you're both wrong, you can't do this alone."

"That was a very Derek shepherd like speech. I'm impressed." Amelia said with a smile.

"Oh well I try." Bailey smirked. "mom?"

"How soon can you prep him…"

"Later tonight."

"Good, I want to be in there."

"Meredith, you know I can't do that."

"I own the hospital, I can do whatever I want." She assessed.

"Fine." Amelia said. "But no interference: and if I feel like I should, I'll kick you out of my OR." It took Meredith a moment to recognize Amelia's words but she nodded.

* * *

 **Yay so Amelia and Meredith had a fallout! Sorry for talking so long to update and I know it isn't very long, but I'm vacationing and I haven't had time to actually write! Imagine that…**

 **Thank you for reading and sticking with me! Story is almost over though…**


	12. Chapter 12

**At The End Of The Day**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Sorry for the delay you guys! I hope you are still enjoying this! It's almost over now..**

 **I still don't own anything …**

 **Part XII**

 _Bailey opened his eyes to som familiar sorroundings. It was the ferryboat. He no longer sat on the wheelchair but now was standing up as soon as he looked around. Derek was standing there beside him. "You did it kiddo.." He patted his son on the back. "Your mom and Aunt Amy are meant to be in each other's throats always but somehow they can't do this alone."_

 _"That's what I kept telling them." Added Bailey. "So mom..."_

 _"What about her?" Derek answered coily._

 _"She didn't really told me she saw you, but I figured as much..." Derek laughed. "She's still afraid of what might happen to her now that you are gone.."_

" _Who says I really am?" Derek said, looking away from the water and moving a few feet away. "No one is really gone Bailey, not really. It's just relative, to how the people who love us have chosen to hold us close to their hearts. You always did find a way of having me in your life as you grew. That's the reason you can see me now."_

 _"But mom..."_

 _"She wasn't willing to look beyond her own belifs, her own pain, not until she found you in a similar situation that the one which took my life. She couldn't just recover from that."_

 _"Not untll she needed to." Bailey said with a sigh._

 _"I used to have this conversations with my father." Derek said all of the sudden. "I knew Amelia could see him, she'd tell me about it, dreams I would call them, because at the end of the day, when I turned around, he still wasn't there, but it doesn't mean it didn't happen to me, or that I wished it stopped." Bailey arched an eybrow finally turning to look at Derek. "It can't be like this forever son, you have to let go and go on yourself, so you can be the man I've always wanted you to be."_

 _"Dad..."_

 _"Remember when you asked me about my dad?" Bailey nodded. "Well it was funny really, I was afraid of what I might find out if I talked to him. Turns out I was more afraid of myself than him. of what he might think of me now. Of what I made for myself."_

 _"So... Am I doing the same?" Bailey asked. "Am I scared about what you might think?"_

 _"That's up to you to figure out." Derek said with a smile._

* * *

"Bailey?" Came Amelia's voice as Bailey incorporated himself to the light. "Hey little man, how are you doing?"

"My head hurts." He admitted. "What happened?"

"Well first off, the surgery was a sucess, not that I ever doubted myslef...or your mom.."

"My mom?"

"She was there the whole time buddy, holding your hand and, second guessing me, just like my dear brother would.." Bailey chuckled softly. "Everthing seems to be going on track, if we indeed succeeded, you should regain sensibility in a couple days... Turns out there was a clough and it was what was causng the zeisures and the numbness, we don't know how much damage there was but we should find out in about 48 hours."

"So, you did it?"

"She can't take all the credit, after all, I learned from the best..." Meredith said from the door, smiling at her child. "You should rest a little now, we have to take you up to recovery soon."

* * *

Six months had passed since the accident and there was still a long way to go for Bailey, his mobility had taken him lonnger than expected, mostly like one small child who was just learning to walk. He had not seen Derek again though, the constant conversations with him, again didn't have a response and yet he didn't really longered for him, not so much anymore anyway. He heard the alarm sound off as he streched his arm to turn it off. He moved his body up to sit himself and glanced over at the clothes Meredith had already laid out for him.

A task that used to take him ten minutes six months ago now took him almost 40. Although he remembered Amelia saying that he needed to be patient. "Good morning buddy." Meredith came into his room a moment after he was done getting dressed. She helped him up and into the wheelchair besides the bed. "All set?" She asked as he began rolling away towards the kitchen. Ever since the accident there had been some modifications to the house so that Derek's old office had turned itslef into his room since he was too tall to be able to be carried around.

"I told you to finish it last night Ellie.." Bailey had come just in time to spot his two sisters bickering about Ellie's unfinished science project.

"I tried, but I was too tired so I fell asleep." She groaned.

"You should be like me sweetie. I'm an overachiever..." Meredith added as she laid a bowl in front of Bailey.

"Well...I'm...can't I just be good at sports?" the 11 year old asked. "Sports get you into college,"

"A high GPA does too, good grades..." Zola said in a matter of facty way. She turned to her phone. "And I am determined on you getting a good grade in something I've... we've worked so hard on.."

"You two get out of here already or there won't be any class to get graded for..." Thier mother said. "Oh and before I forget, we still on for saturday?"

"What's saturday?" Bailey asked, amused of the banter between his sisters.

"Duh, the science fair dummy.." Ellis said with a smile as she leaned in to kiss his brother goodbye, not without returning a moment later because she had forgotten her lunch. "Zola so wants another ribbon for her ' I am stil the perfect child wall'

"I heard that!" She scolded her sister as she slammed the door behind her.

Yes, saturday nights had canged for the shepherd clan, just as their entire lives had been altered but Bailey smiled at himself and the fact that he had so much more to be grateful for.

* * *

 **Hey guys! This is more of a filler chapter, I am sorry if it's too short, don't worry there will be an epilogue after this. Thank you so much for supporting this and sharing the love we have for Derek...**

 **Until next time :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**At The End Of The Day**

 **POST 11X21. After Bailey's life is on the line , Meredith and the others struggle with the prospect of not being able to save him, on beautiful days, and ferryboat scrub caps, life and death and on Derek. Set 12 years after season 11.**

 **Sorry for the delay you guys! I hope you like the ending! Thank you so much for all the support!**

 **I still don't own anything …**

 **Part XIII**

 **EPILOGUE:**

Bailey led his sisters trough the hallway, the hospital white walls bringing so many memories, both good and bad. Zola held a baby girl close to her hip and Ellie held on to Simon's hand. "Good morning." A nurse greeted them warmly. Bailey smiled softly, his gentle blue eyes reflected on that of his father, a man everyone in this hospital knew of somehow. "She's resting now, says a neighbor found her when she came to see if she needed something from the store." Nurse Carmichael said as the kids turned to the window, Meredith Grey laid there in bed, but she wasn't sleep. She was staring at her children, probably ashamed for making them come and check on her. They were all grown now, they didn't need her, but if she was honest, she sort of needed them still. She had only recently began to forget. And that scared the hell out of her.

"Hey mom..." Bailey smiled as Zola spoke softly.

"You didn't have to come, they will discharge me soon..." Meredith explained. Her children stared at her. "I am sure you all so busy..."

"Nah, what are you talking about?" Ellie smiled. "I've only got 24 children or so to care after..." Ellie had been the one to drift further from the family bussiness, she had become a teacher. A second grade teacher and she loved every single moment of it. She called it, modeling the young minds so they could be great. A joke often made by Bailey about how she could make the most of it by becoming a neurosurgeon as well.

"Still, nothing happened..."

"You fell and hit your head, how is that not something happening..." Bailey said in a very Derek like way. Meredith huffed.

"I don't need a babysitter...May I remind you, I changed all of your diapers?"

"And as much as disgusted and grateful we may be..." Zola said. "I think we need to make some changes, you can't just be all alone in that house anymore Mom, no matter how much..."

"Hello? She's not alone?" Ellie was the one who had decided to remain at home with Meredith for as much as she could, but she as well was growing up and was soon a bride to be as Simon had asked her to marry him just a few weeks back. Zola shot her a glance.

"Honestly Mom, we could do whatever you want with the house." Her 30 year old son said. "But we have to do something..." Meredith only saw worry in those eyes and nodded slowly. Meredith hated to be taken care of. She had never had been cared for until she met Derek. And she was after all, Ellis's child, she would never let herself depend on others. She had heard her children talk about her. Christina called them the McNasties, even though she knew they meant well. But she had to face the truth. She worked half her hours now and as much as she wanted to be as bad-ass as Weber had been back in the day, her memory wasn't what it had been back when she was... young.

"We are not asking you to leave it all at once." Zola had said as she and Owen sat across from her, her Chief and brother in law still. "We are just asking you to slowdown."

"I am a Grey, we don't slow down, we don't even leave this hospital unless it's in a body bag." She'd said. Zola and Owen had looked at each other and watched as she'd walked out.

"Hey man." Matt sat across from Bailey at lunch. "Heard your mom is here, she okay?" Bailey stared at his cousin.

"She's fine. It's just a concussion. I'm keeping her for observation overnight." Matt arched an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"She doesn't remember this isn't the first time it's happened, does she?"

"No, Maggie told me she froze the other day in the OR because she thought she was..."

"What?"

"Her mind reverted back... She didn't think she could do it because she was only an intern." Bailey expressed, dropping his sandwich in frustration. "A minute later she was fine."

"Still, that can only mean..."

"It's progressing faster now..." Matt said, much to their dismay. "Think you can stop it?"

"The new trial can slow it down, but I'd have to see if she's still a candidate because of how these episodes seem to be happening."

* * *

Bailey grabbed his mother's chart from the room and sat besides her, just as she had done after his accident. His crutch next to him as he sat down. He read the results of Meredith's latest MRI, even with all of the time that had passed since Derek had been working on finding a cure for his wife's disease, the youngest Shepherd still felt at a loss when it came to his mother. The Alzheimer had not progressed as fast if not for the new treatments, It had not affected Meredith while they were growing up as she always feared it would, but had come to her later in life, more frequently now, specially intensifying near the date of Derek's death.

"Hey, how is she doing?" Zola took a seat next to her brother.

"Stubborn, but she agreed to let me put an add out on the house, for renting, she says she wants one of us to keep the dreamhouse."

"Makes sense, daddy did built it for us, I don't think she wants to let go of that part of him just yet."

"I don't think she ever will." Agreed Bailey. "Still er, Zo we have to talk about what's gonna happen, bottom line is, I don't think she can be alone much longer, Maggie told me she's been having episodes."

"So? She's had them before."

"Yeah but not like this." Bailey explained to her. "It's not safe for her anymore..."

"And you want to be the one to tell her that?" Bailey sighed. "Don't look at me, you are the one who chose Neuro." They remained quiet for a moment, the only sound heard was the beeping of the machines.

"How's Maddie, you took her back to Daycare?"

"I did." Zola said of her child. "Robbie is picking her up later."

"Leila okay?" Zola asked. "I heard the baby was sleeping trough the night, which trust me, it's more than a blessing."

"She's fine, I am heading home after this actually, it's my turn to give him a bath."

"Go, I'll stay with Mom. My shift isn't over yet."

"Okay, just keep me posted, anything changes..."

"It's fine Bailey, go already..."

* * *

When he got home, his eyes adjusted to the dim lights in the hall until he reached the kitchen, the sound of his crutch alerting people and pets alike he was home.

"Hey, what are you doing here so early?" His wife greeted him. "How's your mom?"

"Better. Zola is with her." He kissed her softly. He patted Zurg to his feet as he told Leila of his day, sitting down with a thud on the couch. "And how was your day?"

"Well... someone got in trouble at school today, but I didn't want to bother you because of your mom..." Bailey sighed. Chris getting in trouble wasn't anything new to him, at least not lately, he was having a hard time adjusting to all the changes that had happened to him in such a short while.

"I'll talk to him." Bailey said kissing her again. He made his way to his child's room. Chris was his and Leila's six year old trouble maker, a surprise in the least that had come with perks of his own for his young parents, Karma, Meredith had called it, as her 23 year old son came home to tell her he was going to be a father.

"Can I come in?" Bailey opened the door to the room where his son laid there in his bed, his messy black hair sticking out.

"She told you." It wasn't a question. Derek Christopher Shepherd II stared at his father in the eye, his eyes drifting down.

"No, I want you to tell me." Bailey sat down next to his son.

* * *

 _Bailey stood back there, no longer a child and yet he felt like he'd reverted back into his 5 year old self and had left a mess in his room. It had been a while really, the last time this had happened was a few years after the accident, when he turned 16 that he had found himself back here._

 _"You are having a baby." Derek stood there, next to him, besides the railing. Bailey smiled but only because he was too nervous to do anything else."How did your om take it?"_

 _"She...um...I don't think it has really sink in, she'd castrated me otherwise."_

 _"Yeah that sounds like something she'd do," Admitted Derek. He thought his father would be disappointed, ashamed of whatever choices Bailey had made in his life, but Derek didn't see it that way, at least he didn't show it._

 _"Dad, I..."_

 _"Make sure your job doesn't come first Bailey..." Derek said in all seriousness. "I know you want to be just like me, but don't be just like me son, it's not worth it."_

 _"You think I'll be a good dad?"_

 _"I hoped to be good and didn't have my father for long, so you tell me?" Derek smiled putting a hand on his son's shoulder. "At the end of the day son, the most important thing you can count on is how much you trust yourself to do the right thing, even though everyone else might be telling you otherwise."_

 _"Like you, when you saved all those people?"_

 _"Yes son, like me." Derek wrapped his arms around his only son and kissed his forehead, just like he had done that morning before leaving for D.C._

* * *

 ** _THE END. I do hope you liked it! Thank you so much for all of your support! I might step away from the Grey's wagon for a while, but this has been quite a ride._**


End file.
